


Love is a Mess of Words

by bitterglitter



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: A Week of Kagehina, Alternate Universe - Reincarnation, Angst, Anxiety, Deaf Character, Deaf Hinata, Depression, Dorks in Love, Fluff, M/M, Minor OC - Freeform, Slightly Smutty, Toxic Relationship, Unrequited Love, amputee kageyama, aweekofkagehina, mermaid hinata
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-06-14
Updated: 2015-06-21
Packaged: 2018-04-01 00:52:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 16
Words: 22,488
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3999709
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bitterglitter/pseuds/bitterglitter
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Written for Kagehina week 2015. Prepare for volleyball dorks in love for eight straight days.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Warm Up

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Warm Up  
> Noun. the act or an instance of warming up; a preparatory activity or procedure

Kageyama for sure did not have a crush on Hinata Shouyou. He for sure did not feel butterflies in his stomach whenever Hinata laughed. He for sure didn't blush whenever Hinata would send him a random selfie at the strangest of times. He for sure didn't like sitting with Hinata at lunch just because of the way it made Hinata smile. He for sure didn't feel his heart clench with jealousy whenever Hinata ignored him for someone else. And he for sure, absolutely not, 100% did not stare at Hinata when he stretched during warm ups.

No, no way.

Except that he totally did.

It was hard _not_ to stare. He wasn't sure when he started peeking over at the orange haired boy out of the corner of his eye, or when he started biting his lip as Hinata bent over, or how his cheeks would turn pink if Hinata's shirt would ride up. He only noticed it when Tanaka had called him out on it.

"... Hey, Kageyama? Are you _trying_ to kill Hinata with that death stare?" Tanaka asked, tilting his head with his hands on his hips. "Seriously, man, it's getting weird."

"Hm?" Kageyama muttered, tearing his gaze away from Hinata to look at the older classmate. His expression was one of surprise before he realized, his cheeks turning slightly pink, that he must've been staring at Hinata for several minutes. His eyes widened at the thought. "I- I- no!" He shook his head, feeling only slightly horrified with the fact that not only had he been doing it, but that he had been caught too.

Tanaka snorted with a grin. "Sure, sure. Just don't kill him before the next game, okay?"

Kageyama looked away, expression darkening. Why the hell _had_ he been staring? It wasn't like there was anything to stare at with Hinata. He wasn't a girl, so it wasn't like Kageyama could admire his chest. He wasn't cute, so that couldn't capture Kageyama's attention. It couldn't have been those toned legs that lead up to- No. No, nothing to look at.

For the rest of practice Kageyama brooded, refusing to even look Hinata's way. Ignoring his teammate had to make this thoughts go away. That resulted in several volleyballs hitting Hinata in various places. All because Kageyama knew if he looked Hinata's way against then he'd end up staring. It must've been bad because Daichi told him to sit out for the rest of practice. Sitting on the sidelines made it slightly easier, he could stare at the floor instead of his teammate, but it also pissed him off.

This was all dumbass Hinata's fault.

♕♕♕

It didn't get better, only worse. Every practice Kageyama found himself looking at Hinata. Looking in ways that friends or teammates or whatever the hell they were really shouldn't. Kageyama's face would flush when he caught sight of Hinata stretching. His heart would jump when Hinata jumped to hit one of his tosses. It was getting bad and Kageyama knew it. He flat out refused to look Hinata's direction in the locker rooms.

His game was off too, which just made him angrier. When he wasn't staring at Hinata, mind full of thoughts too dirty to mention out loud, he was glaring at the smaller boy.

The worse part was that Hinata didn't even fucking know. He was completely oblivious that he was making Kageyama's life hell. That Kageyama couldn't get him out of his head. He had no clue and that pissed Kageyama off. At least take some goddamn responsibility, Kageyama thought.

But it wasn't like Kageyama was going to _tell_ Hinata what was going on.

No, that was an awful idea.

This had been going on for a week. A week of staring and frustration and missed tosses and so many dreams that Kageyama lost count of the number. It felt like he was going to burst. There had to be a way to fix it, but so far no solution seemed to be in sight. Ignoring Hinata wasn't working and it wasn't like Kageyama could just forget these thoughts.

Then things got worse. When Kageyama walked into the locker room he was sure that the universe was completely against him. Some god had to find this situation hilarious and decided to just make everything worse. He was the only person in the room, save for one small, orange haired volleyball player who was in the middle of changing. _'Fuck,'_ Kageyama thought to himself as he was unable to tear his gaze away from Hinata's naked back. _'I'm so so so screwed.'_

Only when Hinata started to turn around did Kageyama turn away. He walked in and shut the door behind him, it wasn't like he could just leave. All he could do was pray that someone would walk in before Kageyama got a chance to jump the small mass of energy next to him.

"Kageyama!" Hinata shouted, surprised, his hands coming up in a defensive position. Unimpressed, Kageyama just raised an eyebrow as a reply. He watched as Hinata slowly started to relax, forcing himself to keep his gaze above Hinata's shoulders. So so so screwed.

"Don't shout, dumbass." Kageyama muttered, turning towards his locker. He could do this. Change fast and hurry to practice. His thoughts defiantly wouldn't get the best of him. Just stay calm and-

"Are you mad at me?" Hinata broke the silence that was just starting to become semi comfortable around them. He pulled his shirt on, glancing up at Kageyama. 

Kageyama paused, looking down at Hinata. "... What?" Fuck fuck _fuck f u c k had he noticed?_ Had Kageyama been acting so obvious that even Hinata had noticed?

"Welllll." Hinata swung his arms slightly, looking away as if trying to think of the right words. "You've been really mad the past week, glaring at me all the time. And you keep hitting me with volleyballs!" Hinata huffed, turning to pout at Kageyama.

"I didn't mean to hit you-"

"You've done it at least a dozen times the past week! They can't _all_ be accidents." Hinata gasped, "don't tell me the King is loosing his edge!"

Expression dark, Kageyama turned to Hinata. He knew better than anyone that Kageyama hated that nickname. Quickly Kageyama reached out, fingers going to grip Hinata's hair. Luckily for both of them, Hinata was fast enough to dodge. "Dumbass, don't call me that."

"It's true though, isn't it?!" Hinata's eyes widened.

"It's not!"

"It is!"

"Not!"

Hinata stomped his foot, clearly frustrated that they were getting nowhere. "Then _what_ is it? What's causing you to act like this?"

Kageyama stared at the orange haired boy. The past week's events and feeling felt like they were bubbling under his skin. It had been getting progressively worse, but this was the last straw. The words burst from Kageyama's mouth before he could even think to stop them. "It's _you,_ you idiot! It's the fact that I can't stop fucking staring at you everyday! What's causing it is you and how damn hot you are!"

All the air left Kageyama's lungs as the realization of what he just said hit him. That wasn't suppose to happen. A pink blush crept across his cheeks, his whole face warm. It was a complete contrast from Hinata, who had gone completely white in shock. The shorter boy opened his mouth to say something, probably about how that was disgusting or how Kageyama was perverted, but Kageyama quickly turned to run out of the room. He didn't want to hear whatever Hinata had to say-

"Oh no you don't-" Hinata cried, reaching out and grabbing the back of Kageyama's shirt. "You can't just say that and run away!" He pulled on the shirt, briefly chocking Kageyama. Hinata kept pulling until the two of them ended up toppling over onto the floor. 

Kageyama's head hit the floor with a thunk. "Ow! Fuck! Hinata-" He yelled, ready to stand up and pull the other up by the hair for being so stupid. Instead of that, though, smaller hands pushed against his shoulders and kept him on the floor. Hinata sat up above him, his white face being returned to life with a bright red.

"Y-you can't just say that!" Hinata shook his head. For a slip second Kageyama was sure that Hinata was blushing so much his hair was even glowing. "Bakageyama! Why would you say something like that?" 

"Because it's true!" Kageyama blurted out. _'That's right,'_ he thought, _'keep digging yourself into a hole.'_

"Bwaah!" Hinata's face exploded in a burst of red. "Don't say stuff like that!"

"Why-" What was Kageyama even asking? It was obvious why he shouldn't stay stuff like that. It was weird. Strange. Different. He was cut off from his question, by a pair of lips.

The kiss was short, quick, and rather clumsy. Their noses bumped and Hinata pressed down too hard, but Kageyama still felt his heart stutter.

As soon as it started it was over. Hinata pulled away in a flash and stood up. Kageyama didn't get a chance to see his expression because he spun around and raced out the door, shouting at the top of his lungs, "it's embarrassing!!!"

Kageyama laid on the floor, staring at the opened door. It took several seconds to collect his thoughts, but without thinking about it he was on his feet and running after Hinata. "Dumbass, don't run away! You're going to miss warm ups!"


	2. Miracle

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Miracle  
> Noun. one that excites admiring awe; a wonderful or amazing even, act, person, or thing

Sunny days are the worst types of days. When it's warm out and the sky is clear is when Kageyama Tobio is at his worst.

On days like these he locks his doors, closes all the blinds, and turns up the air conditioner until he needs blankets to keep himself warm. He shoves his shoes in the back of his closet, next to things that he's covered up to never see again. Sometimes, when it's really bad and he can hear the noise from outside a little too well and his legs hurts he'll silence his phone, only using it to hear the music he has to blast in his ears to calm down. He waits until the day is over with a bag of chips and phone hidden under several blankets, he waits until the number on his phone is past eight to climb out of bed. He doesn't eat much on those days and sleeps too much.

His leg hurts more on those days.

Summer is Kageyama's least favorite season, but honestly he hates them all. Winter is most bearable, mostly because of the snow, but it's still awful. It reminds him of too much, it reminds him that he's still alive even though he doesn't want to be.

Now it's changing into summer, the rainy days of spring are fading into sunny weeks of hell. It's one of the last rainy days of the season when Kageyama steps out of his house, umbrella in hand and black jacket thrown over his shoulders. He keeps his head down as he walks through the crowd, making his was towards the grocery store. He had hoped that he'd make it through the week food wise, but no such luck. How had he run out of food so quickly? It wasn't like he ate much.

Rain is suppose to be blue, Kageyama could remember puddles of water and droplets running down windows being blue, but now it just looks grey. Drops of water blend in with the color of clouds and the color grey runs through the streets like spilled pain where rain should be. The sun can't peek through the clouds, something Kageyama is thankful for as he trudges through grey.

The store isn't much better. It's full of people taking shelter from the storm, Kageyama almost trips over a little girl who darts in front of his feet a little too fast. He hurries to grab a basket, desperate to return home as quickly as possible. The store feels crowded, suffocating. The front of the store is busier than the aisles, thankfully. He feels safer when it's just him walking down each aisle, he can breathe a bit better.

Kageyama doesn't have to get much, just enough to get him through the rest of the week. Enough so when he comes out next it's in the dead of night and he doesn't have to worry. He's reaching for some curry, the least expensive one he can spot, when he feels his hand brush against someone else's. He jerks back, eyes wide, and turns to see who he touched. Their hand is red hot, or maybe Kageyama's is just ice cold.

Next to him, Kageyama isn't sure who he expects to be standing there. Someone forgettable probably, most people are. Faces so bland that they blend into a blur in Kageyama's mind as soon as they turn away. Probably a girl, based off how small the hand is. A blushing, forgettable girl who Kageyama knew others would find cute but he couldn't find the time to think the same. It isn't. He doesn't expect someone so bright that it almost blinds him to be standing there. Bright orange hair, bright brown eyes, bright, bright, bright. Kageyama has to blink to give his eyes relief, but it doesn't help much. Behind his eyelids he can still see the stranger's expression.

"S-sorry!" The stranger pulls back, looking almost nervous. His nervous frown is swiftly replaced by a smile when their gazes meet. Kageyama blinks again, the smile is still there. "I didn't mean to bump into you. Excuse me." He takes a step back from the curry, allowing Kageyama to reach out and take it.

"... It's fine." Kageyama replies, the frown that he's been wearing since he woke up melts off his face. Not into a smile, he hasn't worn a smile in so long he's forgotten how to do it, but into a softer expression. At the sight of it, the boy in front of him smiles wider. Kageyama takes two curries before offering one of them to the stranger. "Um, here."

What is he doing? He's not usually like this. What he should be doing is taking his curry and quickly walking away, not offering one to someone he's never met and probably won't meet again.

Clearly Kageyama isn't the only one surprised at his actions, the boy before him glances down at the curry with wide eyes before taking it. He blinks a few times before nodding. "Thank you, uh..."

"Kageyama." He says easily, saying it like this takes some weight off his chest. _Don't tell him your name, idiot!_ He thinks to himself angrily, but he doesn't have time to internally hit himself.

"Hinata." The boy says with a smile, it wasn't as bright as his others but it's still blinding. He holds out a hand and it takes several seconds for Kageyama to realize he should shake it. "I'll see you later, Kageyama!" Hinata says happily before turning around and almost bouncing out of the aisle.

"... Right." Kageyama murmurs, watching him bounce away. That, he realizes, is the first time in a long time that some said they'd see him later happily. For the first time in forever his chest feels warm.

♕♕♕

Sports, Kageyama decides, are awful. He hasn't always hated them, but now he does. He doesn't go anywhere near a gym, the park is iffy, and he refuses to watch games on the TV. He can't bring himself to, it hurts too much to watch the players, the crowd, the action. It makes his leg hurt. 

Sports and summer mix, which is why summer is the season Kageyama spends the most time indoors. He can't spend all of his time there, though. He has to make money some way, and it's not like there's much he can do. He's not very good at anything except, apparently, making coffee. On days he has to work he gets up early and arrives early to the coffee shop. It's a small place on the corner of a street a few blocks from his apartment. It's a nice little place, enough people come there to make money but not enough to overwhelm Kageyama. The smell of coffee almost everyday is nice and his boss, a silver haired man named Suga, is fairly nice and understanding.

It's six am and Kageyama is hurrying towards his job. It's been almost a week since he met the bright boy named Hinata and his face hasn't faded like everyone else's. His face stands out in Kageyama's memory unlike his teammates from junior high, or his sort of friends from high school, or even several frequent customers of the coffee shop's. He's never seen Hinata around before, or maybe he just hasn't paid enough attention. Kageyama is pretty bad at paying attention to his surroundings.

Which is probably why he ends up with a volleyball to the face at 6:03 am. Why had he decided it would be a good idea to cut through the park today? Next thing he knows he's on the ground, the volleyball bouncing next to him, and several voice are calling out in alarm. It's been a while since he's taken a volleyball to the face, but it doesn't hurt any less now than it did then.

"Fuck!" Someone shouts and Kageyama is being pushed up into a sitting position. He reaches a hand up to cup a bloody nose. Great. Just what he needs before work. "Oh no, oh no, it's bleeding. I'm so so sorry!" The voice speaking sounds familiar and when Kageyama looks up he's blinded again.

What're the chances?

"Hinata! Is he okay?" Someone else, farther away, shouts towards them.

"Um, um, um." Hinata looks slightly panicked, Kageyama almost snorts at the expression. It's just a bloody nose. Hinata looks over his shoulder to shout back, "his nose is bleeding!" He turns towards Kageyama, "I'm so sorry, are you-... Hey! I know you!" He sounds surprised as a pink flush works it's way onto his cheeks.

Kageyama nods as if it's the most obvious thing in the world. He pulls his hand away from his face long enough to see it stained with blood. Quickly he moves it back, already feeling slightly queasy.

"I didn't mean to hit you. My receive just wasn't the best." Hinata sighs, reaching up. "Here, let me look at it." He pulls Kageyama's hand away and his face turns white.

"Wow, Hinata. _Great_ receive." A tall, blond boy says as he walks up to them. Another, darker haired boy follows him. "You haven't even been here a week and you're already injuring the neighbors."

Hinata flushes an angry red at this comment, turning towards the blond. "Shut up, Tsukishima! It was an accident!"

"Don't talk like that to Tsukki!" The brown haired boy cries out, but it's drowned out by Tsukishimia's comment, "that's what you said when you did the same thing to Tanaka."

"Shut up!" Hinata repeats. He shrugs off his jacket and holds it out to Kageyama. "Here, use this."

"... Thanks." Kageyama mutters, taking the jacket and holding it up to stop the bleeding. Of course Hinata has to play volleyball, of course they had to run into each other again, of course it's when Hinata is actually playing volleyball,  _of course._ He wonders what part of the universe hates him. Hinata reaches out to help him up, and it works up until Kageyama actually has to stand. His right leg doesn't support him like it should and Kageyama realize that it must've slipped off slightly when he was knocked over.

"Whoa!" Hinata gasps when Kageyama falls back again, desperately trying to keep his balance. "Are you sure you're okay?"

No no no no he isn't he hasn't been okay in a long time but he can't tell a stranger that everything is wrong.

"Yeah. I'm fine." Kageyama tries to stand once more. He can see the coffee shop from here, he should be able to make it. "Just don't hit me with another volleyball, idiot."

Hinata's face turns red again. "I- I won't!"

"Then it's okay." He offers Hinata his jacket back with a softer expression. He'll just use some napkins at work and wait until the bleeding stops.

"Oh, no. Keep it." Hinata shakes his head. "It looks like you're still bleeding and I don't really need it now like you do."

Kageyama stares at Hinata, wondering where on earth this boy came from and why he had stumbled into Kageyama's life. "... Alright." He nods, still surprised. "Thanks." He hurries to the coffee shop, walking awkwardly, with a strange pink blush on his face.

♕♕♕

Two months in and Hinata Shouyou knows almost all of Kageyama's secrets.

He knows how lonely feels (even if Kageyama himself won't admit it), he knows how Kageyama secretly hates his next door neighbor because she always yells when she talks, he knows that Kageyama cries during the sad parts in Disney movies, and he knows about Kageyama's prosthetic leg.

Even though Kageyama wanted to hide it, it was almost impossible with their growing friendship. Hinata had started to visit way too often, whether at Kageyama's apartment or work, and to Kageyama's muted horror they have actually become pretty close. For whatever reason, Hinata seems determined to push his way into Kageyama's life.

Hinata finds out on a dreadful sunny day around noon.

It was bound to happen like this. He hand Hinata are opposites in almost every way, so naturally Hinata loves days when the sun was shinning bright. He's tried, many times, to get Kageyama to do something with him on days like these, but Kageyama always refused. Hell is going to freeze over before he willingly went outside on a sunny day.

His leg is hurting more than usual today, and no amount of screaming music or blankets is making it go away. He pulls the blankets tighter over him, staring at the time on his phone screen. He waits for it to change, but it's not fast enough. Frustrated he throws it out of his blanket mountain. It falls to the floor with a thud, taking the headphones with it.

"Damn it." Kageyama mutters, but he can't find the energy to get up and grab it. "Ugh, fine. Whatever." 

He wishes he wasn't so tired all the time. No matter how much he sleeps it's never enough. He wasn't always like this, he used to have energy. Drive. Whatever it was that's now missing. He misses those days, he misses who he used to be.

These thoughts and memories hang over him so long that he debates getting up to grab his music, instead he hears a loud knock on his door. He wonders who it could be, a neighbor? It couldn't be Suga, and it wasn't like he has many friends to bother him. A second knock, a few minutes later, drags him up from his bed. He keeps a blanket wrapped around his shoulders as he makes his way to the door.

A fluffy mass of orange hair can be seen through the peep hole in his door and Kageyama instantly knows who it is. He opens the door enough to peek out of and is greeted with a smile that warms up whole body. "Kageyama!" Hinata says cheerfully, too cheerfully for Kageyama's day.

"... I told you I don't want to hang out today, Hinata." He sighs, raising an eyebrow.

"Okay, straight to the point." Hinata shrugs. "You said you don't want to hand out _outside_ today. So we're not."

"Then why are you here?" Kageyama opens the door just a bit more when he notices two bags in Hinata's hands. He couldn't have found a loophole, could he-

"Cause we're gonna hang out inside!" Hinata holds up the bags. "I brought food and movies to bribe you. Come on, Ka-ge-ya-ma! Pleeeeease?" Hinata leans up until he's practically pressing his face into the door.

Damn those big brown eyes and that stupidly cute pout. "Fine. But you can't stay long, okay?"

"Okay!" Hinata says cheerfully and Kageyama already knows he doesn't have plans of leaving anytime soon. He opens the door and Hinata bounces into the house.

For the next several hours it's non stop movies and food. It's weird at first, but it's hard not to bet comfortable with Hinata around. Time flies by much faster than when it's just Kageyama, he doesn't realize that it's late until it's too late for Hinata to go home.

"Remind me, why am I letting you stay over?" Kageyama asks as he pulls several blankets from a closet.

"Cause someone has to keep you company in this freezer you call a home." Hinata grins. "And I don't really want to walk home this late."

"It's your fault we forgot to check the time."

"No it's not! Bakageyama, it's your fault! You were the one who was really into that last movie."

"You were the one who was hanging onto my arm the whole time!"

"There was a lot of tension, I was nervous!" Hinata throws a pillow at him that Kageyama easily dodges.

In return Kageyama throws the blankets over Hinata. "Dumbass, Hinata." He says as if annoyed, but Kageyama hasn't felt this- what is it, happy?- on a sunny day in a long time. "I'll find you something to wear."

"Thank you." Hinata calls out from the mountain of blankets he's buried under.

Kageyama snorts and walks into his bedroom. He returns with the smallest pair of pajama pants he has and a t-shirt. "Will these fit?" 

Hinata has already spread out the blankets over the couch like a bed. He looks up and reaches over to take the clothes. "Hm, maybe? I'll try them on!" He gets up and hurries to the bathroom.

With Hinata out of sight Kageyama has a chance to relax a bit. He sits down on the couch with a sigh and rolls up his pant leg. He removes his prosthetic leg and props it up against the couch. It was starting to ache a little, but not much more than Kageyama is used to at this point. 

He doesn't hear when Hinata opens the door, but he does hear the quiet "oh" Hinata says. Kageyama looks up with wide eyes and two thoughts hit him. 1. Hinata looks really fucking good in Kageyama's clothes, even though they're big. 2. Hinata can clearly see Kageyama's prosthetic and fuck fuck fuck okay.

"Um." Is all Kageyama can think to say as his mind short circuits.

"... Yeah." Hinata nods, pulling his gaze away from Kageyama's leg to his eyes. "You...okay? I mean, other than missing- I mean! You've been wearing that all day right?" His face is bright pink as he speaks. "So is it okay? I mean-"

"Y-yeah." Kageyama nods, looking away. "It's fine, I guess. I just don't like wearing it for long."

A pause as both boy's brains try to catch up to where they should be. Hinata breaks the quiet. "Then why didn't you take it off earlier? If you don't like wearing it."

"B-because you're here! I didn't want you to see!" Kageyama glares, teeth clenching. "People find it weird-"

"I don't."

"What?"

"I don't think it's weird."

Kageyama stares at Hinata and he can't find any lie in the statement. No hidden meanings or mixed feelings. Kageyama sucks in a breath when he realizes that Hinata's being serious. "Well...well... _you're_ weird, so of course you don't find this strange." He huffs, looking away.

"Hey! Bakageyama, don't be so mean!" Hinata reaches for another pillow to throw at Kageyama.

"It's not mean if it's true!"

"Shut up!"

"You shut up!"

It doesn't occur to Kageyama until he's back in his room, hidden under several blankets with Hinata sleeping in the other room, that he's _happy_ that Hinata knows.

♕♕♕

He's a miracle. 

Hinata Shouyou has to be Kageyama's miracle. He's the thing that brings life and happiness back into Kageyama's life for the first time since the accident in high school. He's the reason that Kageyama doesn't mind sports as much anymore, because even if Kageyama doesn't believe he can play volleyball again, Hinata does. He's why Kageyama doesn't feel cold every day and why he doesn't keep the temperature ice cold at home. He's the reason that Kageyama eats and gets up and stays awake.

Kageyama realizes this all at once, four months later in the early morning. The sun is rising, peeking into the room with no curtains to hold it back. He realizes this as he stares out the window on his bed, a warm body sleeping next to him.

The room feels bigger now, even though there's less space. With Hinata came lots of things, both his and Kageyama's volleyball stuff in the corner of the room. Several pictures, both hidden ones of Kageyama's and Hinata's favorites are hung on the wall, and a box holding a ring is hidden away in the drawer next to the bed. Kageyama isn't sure when he's going to use it, but he knows that he is.

Slowly Kageyama leans back, careful not to wake his boyfriend up. He looks down at his sleeping face and smiles, it was hard to do at first but it's gotten easier. He rolls over towards Hinata and pulls the blankets up to their shoulders.

It's going to be a sunny day out, but Kageyama doesn't mind.


	3. Tinkle

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tinkle  
> Noun. a light, clear ringing sound  
> Verb. to make or cause a light, clear ringing sound

A sound of a bell is all the connects the. The tinkle of the small object that Hinata keeps on a string around his neck is what calls them to each other. It's a small bell, small enough that it can be hidden away in Hinata's fist, but it's important. So important that Hinata never takes it off, afraid of loosing it in the depths of the ocean.

Hinata's friends ask, but he never tells what it's for. His parents wonder, they stare at it when they think Hinata isn't looking, and they probably know what it's for. He's glad they never ask about it. Sometimes ignorance is bliss.

Some days the sound of the large, large ocean drowns out his impossibly small bell, but Hinata doesn't mind. These days aren't important. They aren't important until the season shifts to summer. They aren't important until Hinata spends all of his times at the beach, watching and waiting and always ringing his bell. _Ring, ring, ring_ of the bell and _swish, swish, swish_ of the waves are the noises that fill Hinata's days until the noise of a shout breaks it.

He's laying on a rock close to the shore, always close to the shore. Too close, he knows, so close that his parents would worry. The bell is in his hand, still attached to the string around his neck, and he rings it with every gust of wind. The wind carries with it a new noise, the noise of a familiar voice that has him sitting up and hurriedly looking around.

At the shore is a raven haired boy that Hinata knows all too well. He's running into the water, still dressed in jeans and a t-shirt that he most likely arrived in. This part of the beach is empty except for them, Hinata briefly wonders if Kageyama walked here, but the thought is pushed down by the sight of said boy.

"Hinata!" Kageyama is shouting and Hinata can already see the rare smile on his face.

"Kageyama!" Hinata wildly waves his hand, the bell dropping from his grip to bounce off his chest.

In an instant Kageyama is easily climbing onto the rocks smooth surface (Hinata is so happy he has an athletic boyfriend). He's completely drenched with salty sea water and his face is slightly flushed, but his eyes are bright with happiness. He reaches over and pulls Hinata close into a bone crushing hug that Hinata happily returns. At moments like these it's easy to forget that Kageyama isn't a very showy person with his emotions.

"I missed you!" Hinata says against Kageyama's wet shirt, tightening his hold.

Kageyama pulls back to look down at Hinata and smiles- Hinata feels something in his chest go gwaaah at the sight of it- before saying, "I missed you too. I've been bugging my parents to take me back to the beach since summer started."

Hinata laughs at the image of his grumpy Kageyama begging his parents to take him to the beach, but his laugh is swallowed up into a kiss that Kageyama presses against his lips. Hinata leans up into the kiss, the only thing between them is Kageyama's wet shirt and the bell around Hinata's neck. The kiss tastes like salt and desperation and longing and Kageyama. It's perfect.

♕♕♕

Two boys lay out on a rock by the shore at sunset. The day around them is fading, but neither notices as they exchange words of times missed and times missing. They lay together, arms wrapped around each other and head tucked under chin. The sky above them is a mix of pink and orange and blue and yellow and it's beautiful but neither are looking at it, instead soaking in each other's beauty.

One boy is small, orange haired, and strange. Where his legs should be there is a tail. It's orange like his hair and bright like his personality. It's mainly orange, the edges are a golden yellow, and the scales are smooth. The other boy is tall, black haired, and usually lonely. He hated the sea, but now finds comfort in it after meeting a mermaid. He has legs where they should be, they're long and powerful and help him play sports, but sometimes he wishes he has a tail.

Together they lay, stories and touches and kisses exchanged between two people who never should have met. They forget the world around them as they wish that their two separate worlds could become one.


	4. Subtle

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Subtle  
> Adjective. hard to notice or see; not obvious

Hinata Shouyou was _not_ jealous of Kageyama.

Okay, so Hinata was jealous of Kageyama's height and how he was a genius in volleyball and how Kageyama was two victories ahead of him in their daily races. He may have been jealous that Kageyama got to be on a volleyball team before him and that Kageyama got a super cool title (the only thing cooler than _King of the Court_ was _Small Giant_ ). A ping of jealousy would sometimes hit his chest when he realized that Kageyama was much more intimidating than he was or when he thought about how easily Kageyama could play without Hinata but not the other way around. But he wasn't jealous of Kageyama about this.

He was jealous of Kageyama's _girlfriend._

She seemed like a nice girl. Long brown hair and sweet blue eyes complimented by a nice smile. She came to several practices and every game they played. The others on the team got along with her and sometimes she'd even bring them food. She even knew about volleyball. 

When Hinata met her he liked her. Yachi had brought her along to one of their practices, introduced her as Miki, and explained that they were going to walk home together afterwords. Instantly she grabbed the boy's attention, Tanaka and Noya running up to her only to get shooed away by Kiyoko. The third years were much calmer with their introductions and Hinata was the only first year to walk up and shake her hand. Practice was pretty uneventful after that, but it wasn't until practice was over and Hinata was halfway home did he realize that when Kageyama saw the new girl his face turned pink.

He didn't think much of it. He didn't want to think much of it, Kageyama wasn't interested in girls. He wasn't interested in _anyone._ The only thing he was interested in was volleyball and winning. Just like Hinata. This was a known fact by everyone on the team, Kageyama was useless when it came to thing of romance and love. Tanaka and Noya had tried many times before to get him to talk about those things, but it was always a one sided conversation.

Love and girls just wasn't something that seemed to click in Kageyama's head and it probably wasn't ever going to. Until Miki cam along and ruined everything.

After meeting Miki, Kageyama changed. He was still the same at practice; focused, playing well, and almost always yelling at Hinata. Outside of practice, though, was another story. He used to spend time with Hinata, eating lunch with Hinata or walking home with Hinata or racing to and from practice with Hinata. Slowly, ever so slowly did Kageyama stop doing these things.

Some mornings Kageyama wasn't there, and it was rare that he'd walk with Hinata home. Each lunch he would claim that he was busy, he was always busy busy busy. Hinata had no idea what could possibly be taking up so much of Kageyama's time until a fit of frustrating caused him to search for the raven haired boy one lunch.

Apparently kissing Miki behind the school was taking up so much of Kageyama's time.

His stomach had lurched at the sight and his face turned white then red. He ran away from the scene, not caring if they heard him or not, and into the nearest bathroom. Why that had upset him so much he didn't know, but it did. It felt like Kageyama had personally punched him in the stomach, a cruel smirk on his face the whole time.

That didn't happen, though. Kageyama was just in love.

Ridiculous.

♕♕♕

Suga was the first to mention it. Then Tanaka then Yachi and then everyone else until Hinata was the only one who hadn't said anything. He wasn't going to say anything about it, not unless Kageyama did. Ignoring it seemed to be the best option anyway, pushing away the thoughts and comments about Kageyama and Miki.

It was better for Hinata. He didn't feel so sick all the time when he could just forget it.

It'd be easier to forget if Miki wasn't around so often. He wasn't sure when she had wormed her way into the team, but she had and damn was it annoying. It was annoying because straight after practice Hinata got to watch Miki and Kageyama walk home. It was annoying because Hinata could see the happy look in Kageyama's eyes when he looked at Miki. It was annoying because Miki was _so damn nice._

Sweet, considerate, friendly. It was easy to see why Kageyama had fallen for such a girl. And Hinata hated every part of her, especially how she made it so hard to hate her. This was awful.

Miki was especially nice to Hinata, she could probably tell how Hinata disliked her. He tried to be friendly, he really did, but it was hard when each time he looked at her jealousy would burn through his veins. He found himself glaring at her, speaking softer when he talked to her, and just trying to generally avoid her. He wished he didn't hate her sometimes, but then he'd see her with Kageyama and the feeling would return at full force.

Awful, everything was awful. Hinata was especially awful.

♕♕♕

"I know you're jealous."

"Huh?" Hinata muttered, looking up from his lunch. The girl who was the center of all of his problems stood in front of him, hands on her hips and a pout on her lips. Hinata tilted his head, putting on his best innocent expression. "What are you talking about?"

"You're jealous." Miki repeated with a sigh. "I can tell and so can everyone else. You're not exactly subtle."

Hinata laughed easily while silently cursing himself, how could he be so obvious? "I'm not jealous. I've already had a conversation like this with Daichi, so-"

"You're not jealous of Kageyama." She cut him off, gaze never leaving him. "They all think that, but they can't see what's really going on. You're jealous of me."

"Don't be ridiculous-"

"You're jealous that he's spending all his time with me-"

"That's impossible-"

"You're jealous that he loves me-"

"No, I'm not!" When had Hinata's voice raised to a shout? He was on his feet now, lunch forgotten, and his cheeks blazed red. "I'm not jealous of you or Kageyama, alright?! Stop assuming things."

Miki sighed and looked Hinata up and down before nodding. "Fine. Keep lying. Just stop glaring at me all the time, everyone's starting to notice."

Hinata had to hold back the urge to throw his lunch at her like a child.

He bit his tongue until he tasted blood and couldn't eat his lunch.

♕♕♕

He was jealous and he couldn't stop the feelings no matter how much he wanted to.

Hinata couldn't stop his hatred for Miki or his pain when he saw them kiss or that small feeling of love that he had no idea was forming until it was too late. His chest was constantly hurting, only stopping during a game when it was just him and Kageyama. He wished he could, he wished he could move on but he didn't know how hard love grabbed you and how long it could keep you in it's grip.

In a different world, in a better world, Kageyama wouldn't be the only happy one. They'd both be happy, _together,_ and Hinata wouldn't feel like a part of him was missing. That world would make sense and there'd be no Miki. There'd be no heartbreak and late night tears. Kageyama would be Hinata's, as it should be.

But the world Hinata Shouyou was stuck in wasn't that world. He was stuck in his own world where he was held by a strong love that could never be returned. A world full of missed opportunities and mistakes and memories of a pretty girl and jealousy.

Too much jealousy.


	5. Move

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Move  
> Verb. the change in position from one point to another, to stir the emotions

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hinata fucked up

A sickening smack rung out as the volleyball hit the floor. Silence erupted in the gym and all eyes shifted over to the net. Each bounce the ball made seemed to echo until it rolled to the wall of the gym. Standing at the net were two boys, a wall slowly being built between them as the other players stared. One pair of eyes shifted over to stare at the shorter boy, burning holes in his head with a look he's never seen before.

It had been building up to this all day. Building and building until it was bound to explode. Kageyama had been worse than usual to Hinata that day. More and more yelling than usual, his hits hurt more than they should have, and his glares were colder than usual. Everyone had noticed, but every time he was asked about it, Kageyama would say there was nothing wrong. Hinata knew that couldn't be true though, this wasn't the Kageyama he was used to. This one was meaner than he should've been. It shouldn't have frustrated Hinata as much as it did, but with each shout and insult thrown at him, his anger grew until he could feel it bubbling over.

Between them it did explode, a huge explosion erupted in the gym and shook the foundation of the entire team. All it took was a single short sentence, a sentence that held so many meanings and promises, to be called out and a pair of sneakers to never lift off the floor.

Hinata Shouyou stared straight ahead, brown eyes large and unfocused. He only glanced up once, to look at the raven haired boy a few feet away from him, before looking away. His breathing was ragged as he stared at the floor, taking in the expression he had just witnessed.

He had never seen Kageyama wear an expression like that, one filled with so much pleading, but he wore it clear on his face. The message behind it was obvious, _please let that have been an accident, miscommunication, something, **anything**. _

It wasn't. 

They both knew it. Hinata's expression said it all too well. When their eyes met all doubt fled Kageyama that this could've been anything but intentional. His face twisted up in a look he hadn't worn since the last year of junior high and he turned away. 

_"Toss to me!"_ Hinata had shouted, but he hadn't jumped. He hadn't moved a muscle, instead he stood in front of where he would've been. Where he should've been.

"... Kageya-" Suga, of course, was the one to break the tense silence. He stepped forward, reaching a hand out to the first year.

Before Suga could finish even saying his name, Kageyama was running. He was out the door in a flash, leaving behind a volleyball and a strained feeling in the air. All eyes turned to Hinata, who refused to look up. His mind raced far past his body, full of regrets. Guilt hit him hard, he might have doubled over if he wasn't rooted in place. He didn't jump, why didn't he _jump, why didn't he move?_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Based off this: http://moeblobmegane.tumblr.com/post/121107808638/i-read-this-prompt-somewhere-and-i-want-to-share


	6. Pause

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Pause  
> Verb. to cease or suspend an action temporarily

Some moments Hinata just wants to pause and keep forever. Others he wants to pause and just stay there, never having to move forward from it. He wants to stay exactly where his is, these exact smells and feelings and thoughts and people would all stay right there with him. He doesn't want to leave them behind, so he clings to them.

He clings to Kageyama's jacket and presses his face against Kageyama's shirt, breathing in. Hugs from Kageyama had always been warm, even when they're both freezing and soaking wet, and this one is no exception. Holding onto Kageyama, Hinata feels complete and happy. When they pull away from hugs the feeling usually doesn't fade, but this time it does. Kageyama is the one to pull away and as soon as he does Hinata feels cold. His happiness feels like it's being sucked out of him, taken away with Kageyama.

"Don't make that face, dumbass." Kageyama says, gently knocking Hinata on the side of his head. Even though the words don't sound like much to anyone else, especially with the insult thrown in, but between these two it's different. Kageyama's voice cracks as he says them, eyes wetter than usual.

Hinata laughs, but it's slightly hallow, and reaches up to rub his eyes. Of course he's the one to start crying first, he told Kageyama months before this day that he wouldn't cry first. This was one competition that Hinata didn't mind losing, and one Kageyama wasn't going to brag about winning. "Sorry, I didn't mean to." Hinata offers a blindingly bright smile to make up for the wet tears dripping down his cheeks. His face looks like a rainstorm on a sunny day. "I'm just going to miss your idiot face," he says while reaching out to halfheartedly shove Kageyama's shoulder.

Kageyama snorts. "Well, I'm going to miss your idiot face too." He reaches up and cups Hinata's cheek, disrupted the flow of tears. His touch is gentle, all of his touches have been gentle the past week.

"Of course you are. My face actually looks good." Hinata leans into Kageyama's touch, reaching up to place a hand over his boyfriend's. The next laugh he gives is a realer one at the expression Kageyama makes. "See?"

"Shut up. Besides, it isn't like you're never going to see me again." He takes a step closer to Hinata and the shorter boy leans closer. "You know that, right?"

Hinata sucks in a breath, closing his eyes as he tries to compose himself. He's already crying, isn't going to let it get any worse. "Yeah," he opens his eyes. "I know that. I'm going to keep visiting you until you get sick of me!"

"Impossible." Kageyama leans down to press a kiss against Hinata's lips. They're warm and cold at the same time. He's kissed these lips many times before, but they somewhat feel like a stranger's. Hinata presses himself closer, trying to memorize how Kageyama feels pressed against him and how his lips taste against his.

Pause, pause, pause, why can't the world just pause at this moment?

They both sigh as they have to pull away. The faint sound of Kageyama's mother calling him breaks the moment. "I have to go," Kageyama sighs, looking over to his parent's car. "They aren't going to wait for much longer."

"You'll text me when you get there, right?" Hinata asks, trying to bury his worry and longing under his words. Unfortunately Kageyama can still hear it, he's always been able to do that. Why should it stop just because he's leaving?

"I'll even send you pictures of the place, alright?" He smiles as Hinata's expression brightens. "... I love you, Shouyou."

"I love you too, Tobio."

Kageyama offers one last smile, his smile has gotten better than it was their first year. Before Hinata found it scary, now he finds it cute. He'll miss seeing it everyday. Hinata doesn't see Kageyama's face as he walks to the car, Hinata can only imagine what his expression is, but Hinata doesn't want to know. He wants to cling to the memory of Kageyama's smile.

He clings onto it as he watches Kageyama drive off to college.

♕♕♕

The next several years are full of weekend visits, texts during class, and late night Skype calls that end with at least one of them falling asleep. Life isn't the same without the other by their side at all times, they had gotten so used to operating together during high school that they had to adjust to being by themselves. It's hard at first, but slowly they get used to it.

They still miss each other.

They don't admit it until they're together, huddled under covers with their fingers entwined. It's said in hushed voices with kisses breaking apart the words. In the morning it isn't forgotten, they continue to hold each other up until one of them has to leave. 

When they're apart they don't speak about it. They wouldn't be able to handle it, not without the other there. And that's okay, they can wait until the next visit.

Until one day there isn't a need for visits, there are no classes to text in, and late night Skype calls don't happen anymore. College is over and they can finally be together again. They don't have to keep on going half alone, instead relying that the other is always with them.

Their apartment is small, but for them it's perfect. The first night they stay there they don't get a chance to unpack much, instead they save it for the morning afterword. There's so much time to make up for, there's too many things to do and too many hugs to give and too many kisses to steal.

It's warm, the first night they spend together. They had met outside the building with hugs that were too tight and not tight enough, not caring that people who pass by stare. Tears don't fall until later into the night when they're pressed against each other and realize that they don't have to worry about having to leave. There's no where else to go.

Hinata is the first one to steal a kiss. He jumps up, wrapping his legs around Kageyama in a surprise attack. They both almost fall over, but he doesn't care. Instead he presses his lips against Kageyama's. The kiss is hot and desperate and full of emotions they'd both tried to bury.

This is a moment that Hinata wants to pause, but he's not too sad about being unable to.

 


	7. Bloom

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bloom  
> Verb. to glow; to be radiant

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Poor baby sunshine isn't as happy as we thought oops.

Sometimes it felt like the world was going to collapse on Hinata. It felt like the ground he stood on didn't exist and any moment it was going to vanish, sucking him into deep blackness. Walls closed in on him and the ceiling was ready to fall if he wasn't careful. The blankets in his bed suffocated him and the sun in the morning stung his skin. His sneakers melted into the pavement as he walked into school while the bags under his eyes got bigger like two over-packed luggages. Everyday he waited to see if the world really would collapse as anxiety bloomed in his chest, if the people around him would vanish into dust, if he'd finally be able to sleep properly.

It changed on the court.

When he stood before the net all his worries would slowly melt away until all his thoughts went towards the game. His sneakers wouldn't melt into the wood of the floor, instead they would glide against it. The walls would back away from him and the ceiling stayed cemented in place. He felt real, his teammates felt real. And, for a while, everything would be okay.

Then he'd get home and the feeling would tart to fade, everything coming back to him. It started after the lights went out, his chest would close up first. Thoughts sped up until they all blended together, having to shout in his head to be heard. He wouldn't sleep, instead staring at the wall across from his bed where he watched shadows blend together until the sun peeked through the window. When his teammates asked if he was okay the next morning he'd reassure them that he didn't sleep well out of excitement.

It was always easier to sleep on the bus ride to and from matches.

He knew that was wrong, that it wasn't normal. He could see it in the way he teammates acted.

There had been something wrong with Hinata since he was little. Doctors told him, teachers told him, the voices in his head told him in nasty voices so he couldn't forget. His parents liked, saying that he was okay and that he'd get over his worries. He'd get happier some day, they promised. Lies, lies, lies, all they told him was lies. "It's normal to be sad, sweetie." "Don't worry, it isn't strange that you have to take this medication." "You look happier today." "Your doctor says you're doing much better." "It'll get easier." "We promise." "We love you."

Hinata had gotten good at ignoring their lies, tuning them out. All they did was hurt, hurt worse than the voices in his head. At least those voices didn't make promises that were impossible to keep. At least they didn't lie.

♕♕♕

The day that Hinata saw the Small Giant was the day he swore to himself that he'd play volleyball just as well, he'd be able to get onto the same court and play. His parents had been so excited when he told them what he wanted to do (he could hear their relived whispers that Hinata was actually starting to have interests after they tucked him into bed). They were supportive, so much so that it surprised Hinata. They bought him whatever he needed; his own volleyball, shoes, knee pads, anything they could think of. It surprised the voices too, they stayed quiet in the back of his head.

He thought he was getting better. He was happier, he felt more alive. Positivity wasn't something he had to fake as much. It didn't last, the voices were jut waiting.

Waiting for the day entered junior high, when he found out there was no volleyball team to join. There was no way to play. At this news the voices returned back gleefully, reminding him of things he had long forgotten.

 _So useless,_ they'd whisper as he hit a volleyball against the wall instead of study. _They hate you,_ they cooed as another friend declined helping him practice. _You'll never s_ _ucceed,_ they laughed as he missed another receive that his friend had finally tossed him. _Pathetic, lonely, so sad, just quit already, you're a hopeless case, just **give up.**_

Hinata kept telling his parents that the voices were gone for good. 

_Liar._

It wasn't until his last year that he finally wore down his friends into joining his team for a match. He felt so lucky and actually happy, so happy that he was able to tune out the voices up until he stood on the court and saw his opponents. They were tall, they were good, and a feeling in his gut told him that they were going to lose. 

 _Are you actually going to throw up?_ The voices asked as Hinata rushed to the bathroom, his stomach felt like it was folding in on itself. Yes, he was. He actually was and everything was awful, why didn't he listen to the voices? Why would he ever think he could do this-

Those thoughts vanished when he met Kageyama. They're just gone and replaced with one thought. He had to win, he was going to win.

They didn't.

And Hinata made a promise he was determined to keep. This promise wasn't going to be another one lost in bottle of pills and late night tears. This promise he engraved into his heart: he was going to beat Kageyama, one day.

♕♕♕

Kageyama was the first on the team to find out that something was wrong with Hinata.

Joining the same team as his rival wasn't easy. His nerves racked up when he thought about it, but calmed down when he looked at Kageyama. It turned Hinata into a wreck when he was alone, but when he wasn't it wasn't so much of a bad thing.

The voices didn't like Kageyama. They didn't like the team, except for Tsukishima, and they for sure hated Hinata and Kageyama's quick strike attack. They hated how Hinata put all his trust in Kageyama when he jumped, how he couldn't hear them when he was in the air. How each time after he hit the ball he felt a rush of excitement and happiness.

They made up for it. When he was alone they yelled, no longer whispering. Before each match they would mess up his nerves until someone came along to calm him down. Their words made Hinata want to pull his hair out, rip his ears off (but that wouldn't help, he could still hear them), maybe bury himself in the ground until the darkness and silence took him over. Those thoughts made the voices happy and calmed them down.

It was on a bad day that Kageyama starts to find out. The voices were a little too loud, a little too mean, and wouldn't stop. They pushed and pushed Hinata until he started running to the bathroom during lunch to throw up the food he had already eaten. He didn't hear the bathroom door open over the sound of his heaving and didn't realize that someone was in there with him until he had thrown up all the food he had and shakily got to his feet. His stance is wobbly and he felt like he was going to fall over. Briefly he thought about going to the nurse, but he couldn't miss practice. Kageyama would be pissed if he did.

He opened the stall door and stumbled over to the sink. His mouth tasted awful and when he looked at his face he groaned at how pale he looked. "Great." He sighed, turning on the water.

"Oi, dumbass." A voice interrupted Hinata just as he was about to splash some water onto his face. "Are you feeling okay?"

Hinata slowly looked up in the mirror, eyes widening when he saw Kageyama leaning against the wall. He wasn't glaring, but he didn't exactly look concerned either. It was then that Hinata realized his own expression was off. Usually Hinata smiled, kept his eyes bright, and made sure to put a skip in his step. Now his eyes were sunken in, face completely white, and his mouth was stuck in a frown. His movements were tired and shaky. _Oops,_ the voices laughed, _yo_ _u messed up._

Quickly Hinata spun around, swallowing back his nerves. "Kageyama! How long have you been here?" He tried to laugh, but it came out more like a cough.

"I saw you running to the bathroom." Kageyama shrugged. "I wanted to make sure you'd be at practice, but clearly not if you're throwing up like that."

"Whhhhat?" Hinata rubbed the back of his head. "Nah, I'm fine." He tried to smile again, and this time the edges of his lips move up. Even he can feel how fake it is. "I must've just ate something bad. I'll be at practice."

The look in Kageyama's eyes tell Hinata that it's easy to see through Hinata's excuses. "You shouldn't come to practice if you're sick. Just go to the nurse."

"But I'm not sick!" Hinata shook his head. "Promise!"

Kageyama raised an eyebrow, clearly not believing it, but shrugged. "Fine. But if the captain gets pissed at you for coming in sick, don't blame me." He turned and walked out of the bathroom and Hinata waited several minutes before letting out a sigh of relief and sinking to the floor, his body deflating.

♕♕♕

After that Kageyama got...weird.

They still fought all the time, exchanging hits, loud words, and insults until someone else came in to stop them. The times that they weren't doing that were what changed. Instead of ignoring Hinata, Kageyama started to actually try to spend time with him. They started to walk home together, Kageyama would offer to eat lunch together, and they'd always race to practice.

Hinata wasn't sure how to feel about this. He liked having Kageyama as a friend, the setter wasn't too bad once you got to know him, but it got tiring having to stay happy all the time. That was how his friends saw him; a happy, easy going teenager. He couldn't break that illusion. 

Instead the illusion broke him.

Finally it became too much one evening when Kageyama bought him a meat bun and offered to walk him home. At first Hinata had been able to talk freely around a mouth full of food, conversation coming easily, but about halfway to their destination Hinata started to quiet down. A headache was forming and the voices just wouldn't stop, he didn't need to add his own voice to the mix.

"... Hinata? You okay?" Kageyama asked after a few minutes of silence. Crap, Hinata had hoped that Kageyama wouldn't care about the quiet or at least that he wouldn't comment on it.

"Um, yeah." Hinata nodded, turning to smile at the setter. Oh god, even that was exhausting. "I'm just kinda tired."

"You've been looking tired recently."

Fuck. "Have I?"

"Yeah. Are you sure you're fine?"

" _Yes."_ Hinata nodded. His voice was colder than it was suppose to be, but Hinata found that he didn't really care. It took energy caring.

Hinata felt a hand on his shoulder before he's being turned around. His eyes widen as they met Kageyama's blue ones. "Oi, Hinata. I'm just worried about you, you don't have to act like jerk."

The laugh he gave isn't like his other ones. It was strained and dark and Hinata feet surprised by it. So did Kageyama, if his expression gave anything away. " _You're worried?_ That's funny, why the hell would you be worried about me?" Hinata shrugged Kageyama's hand off and took a step back. "Aren't you suppose to hate me? Why do you suddenly care so much?"

Kageyama's confused expression darkened. "I- I... I care because... you're my teammate." He muttered, cheeks turning a slight pink.

"Then why isn't anyone else doing this?" Hinata pointed out, his voice steadily getting louder. "They care- at least a little- so why is it just you?"

"Because you're hiding it from everyone else!" Kageyama's voice reached the same level of Hinata's.

Hinata stared at Kageyama, stunned into silence. Every part of him was silent, even the voices, and the ground felt rock hard under his feet (like it probably should). He didn't realize he was crying until Kageyama's eyes widened and he reached out towards Hinata.

"Don't!" Hinata snapped, pushing his hand away. "Y-you... you're only pretending to care..." He whispered, shaking his head. "Isn't that right?! You're only pretending to care so I hit your tosses-"

"Listen to me, dumbass-!"

"No, it doesn't make sense otherwise!" Hinata shook his head, reaching up to cover his ears. He should have been able block out Kageyama's voice, it wasn't in his head like the others, but the words still rung in his ears. "Stop lying!"

"I'm not!" Kageyama shouted, grabbing Hinata by his shirt. The orange haired boy was sure he was going to get hit, he must've pushed Kageyama's anger beyond the breaking point. That doesn't happen, though. Instead he found himself leaning against Kageyama's chest, sobbing. He clutched Kageyama's clothes and leaned into the warmth, the feeling of arms around him makes him sob harder.

He hadn't felt everything build up, but it must have because it all came pouring out at once. It spills out as he after he and Kageyama found a bench to sit at in a shady area. When he finished he felt beyond exhausted and Kageyama had to walk him the rest of the way home.

He slept the whole night and woke up to a text from Kageyama.

 **You alright?** It read.

♕♕♕

Months later Hinata finally admitted that he might never be fully fixed. He did this in Kageyama's room, his head peeking out from a blanket. Kageyama was sat on the floor next to his bed, flipping through a text book. 

"Of course not." Kageyama said simply, not looking up from the text he had spent the last half hour trying to memorize. Hinata frowned at this, but his frown disappeared at his next words. "You don't need fixing, dumbass."

Hinata laughed in response and leaned down to kiss Kageyama's cheek, smiling at how Kageyama's cheeks still turned red when he did that. "Sure, if you think so."

The voices had mostly faded until they were soft whispers that Kageyama can make go away. His shoes didn't melt into the pavement anymore, instead they were busy racing Kageyama place to place. Sometimes the walls would still close in and the ceiling would start to fall, but it didn't worry Hinata as much anymore. Blankets weren't so bad and he got better sleep.

Hinata didn't need to be fully fixed, but he was healing.

 

 


	8. Quote

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Quote  
> Verb. to repeat or copy the words of

The words hang in the air, standing out from a sea of voices. The mall is crowded- of course it is, it's full of last minute shoppers just like Kageyama. He pushes his way through the crowd, looking for the source of the voice he heard. It was so familiar, sparking something in Kageyama's chest.

He spots a glimpse of bright hair melt into the crowd before hi and internally cruses. He tries to push past an old lady without seeming too rude, but that's impossible. _'Damn it.'_ He thinks, a scowl on his face. _'Why are you running away again, you dumbass-'_

"Kageyama!" A voice behind him shouts and a hand grabs his shoulder. His roommate, Kindaichi, is standing there with redden cheeks and is short of breath. "What the hell are you doing? I thought we were done shopping." He looks up in the direction that Kageyama had been heading. "Where are you going?" 

Suddenly Kageyama isn't sure. His mind goes blank when he tries to think where he had been going, what he was doing. He slowly blinks and shakes his head. "I... I don't... never mind. Let's head back." He hurries out of the mall with Kindaichi, both boys hoping to avoid the impending snow storm. As a cold breeze stings his face Kageyama tries to remember just what he _had_ been doing, but the only thing he can seem to remember is a voice. It isn't an unpleasant voice or one he's heard before, but it was shouting the words:

_"you really are incredible!"_

♕♕♕

Kageyama Tobio is five years old and his hands are covered in purple paint. His mother is scolding him as she drags him from the arts and crafts store. It wasn't his fault really, the paint was so pretty _and_ it was already opened from him. How was he supposed to know that it was off limits? He decides that adults are too confusing for him as they head into the parking lot. Nothing adults did or said made sense.

"-I can't believe you'd embarrass me like that-" He hears her say and then continues to tune her out. He doesn't mean to, it just happens. Why would she be embarrassed? All Kageyama was trying to do was paint her a picture. On the wall. There wasn't any paper and his mother had made it clear that paint should never touch any floor so the wall was the next best choice.

Of course, telling his mother this wouldn't do any good. Instead he says in his sweetest voice, "I'm sorry, mama."

His mother sighs and stops walking to look down at her son. She looks over his paint covered skin before smiling slightly and leaning down to get eye level with him. "... Alright. At least you apologized. But you listen to me, Tobio," she reaches out to tuck a piece of hair behind his ear, "don't you ever do that again. Okay?"

He nods quickly. "Yes, mama."

He's rewarded with a 'good boy' before being led to the car. His mother isn't scolding him anymore, instead muttering to herself on how to get the paint off his skin, and she's no longer dragging him by the arm, instead holding his hand. Kageyama smiles to himself, feeling like he's won this round. His mother was always easier to calm down than his father. It hadn't taken long to learn the tricks that softened her up.

The car ride home is rather quiet, but Kageyama doesn't mind. He gets to look out the window, so he's already busy with that. Watching the cars go by and talking to his mother seems like a lot of work and it's been a busy day. Kageyama is watching passengers in the cars when his own car starts to slow to a stop. Next to them is a smaller car and Kageyama can see that the woman driving has bright orange hair. Suddenly a different head of orange hair pops up in the back of the car seat.

He's a smaller boy, probably younger than Kageyama. He has orange hair, brighter than his mom's, and light brown eyes. When he spots Kageyama his eyes widen and he smiles. Kageyama blushes slightly at that, that smile has to be the prettiest one he's ever seen.

Kageyama is about to wave when his mother starts to drive and the two cars start driving different directions. For the rest of his life, even as he looks, he never sees a smile that compares.

♕♕♕

Music blares from a separate room and Kageyama doesn't respond to loud knocking on the door. He can hear Tsukishima shout something from the other side, but it's drowned out by the pounding in his head. Kageyama sighs and covers his hears, leaning over to rest his elbows on the sink. "Fuck off, Kei." Kageyama shouts, his cold voice echoing through the room and he shivers.

The song changes and the shouting from outside stops. His headache is only getting worse and he realizes that maybe he _should_ have listened to Suga and stopped after his third drink. Whatever. He only really came here to get drunk, so why not do that? Who cares if he feels like throwing up all over the surprisingly clean sink? (The owners of the house, of course, but Kageyama doesn't really take them into consideration until the next day.) It takes another song change before the knocking is back.

Kageyama is just about ready to open the door and physically make Tsukishima leave him the hell alone when he hears a different voice. "Um, excuse me? Anyone in there?" It calls and Kageyama's eyes widen. Before he can even think about it; he's leaning forward, unlocking the door, and pulling it open to stare at whoever was speaking.

 _So orange_ , is the first thought that strikes Kageyama. The boy's hair is wild, like someone had repeatedly run their hands through it, and bright orange like a sunset. Brown surprised eyes met blue foggy ones and neither blink. _'He's...actually kinda pretty.'_ Kageyama thinks. _'For a dumbass.'_

The boy laughs and Kageyama flushes- from both the realization that he actually said that out loud and from the laugh itself. Almost shyly, the boy rubs the back of his head as he laughs. "Um, thanks? I think." Kageyama decides in his drunken haze that everything about this boy is pretty. "Are you, um, done with the bathroom? Cause I-"

Kageyama cuts the boy off by reaching forward and taking the boy's hand. The boy's words fall short and he looks down at their hands with pink cheeks. With a grin Kageyama pulls him closer, looking down at him with a smug look. "Want to make out?"

"Huh?"

"You heard me."

He doesn't remember how they get there, but they do. Somehow they end up on the bathroom floor, mouths heatedly pressed against one another's and hands roaming bodies. Kageyama presses the boy- he learns his name is Hinata- against a locked bathroom door and moves his lips down to his neck. Everything feels completely wrong and right at the same time and Kageyama forgets the difference between the two as Hinata moans and bucks his hips up into Kageyama. The last thing Kageyama really remembers is shoving his hand down Hinata's pants as Hinata moans, "you really are incredible," as he comes-

And Kageyama wakes up on the bathroom floor with a pounding headache and dirty underwear.

This is the first and last time he sees Hinata in this life, and sometimes it pisses Kageyama off that he can't remember half of it.

♕♕♕

A volleyball court feels like home.

An empty home, mostly, because his team sure as hell doesn't feel like a family. They hardly feel like roommates at this point. What they feel like are guests that Kageyama has to have over because his parents make him. They can work together on court- mostly- but they don't get along.

Kageyama especially realizes this in the middle of a game. The court next to his is just being filled up, not that he's paying much attention, and he's just tossed a set that the spiker could hardly hit. He isn't listening, believing that the spiker just has to try harder to get it. That's the only way they'll really beat the other team.

Then the courts go quiet as a particularly loud spike hits the floor and all eyes turn towards the team next to Kageyama's. He turns just in time to see how high the spiker had jumped and his breath catches in his throat. It's a small spiker with bright cheeks, bright hair, and an even brighter smile. He's grinning at his hand, no doubt red from how hard he hit the ball, while several members of his team cheer behind him. 

Those faces fade away from Kageyama's view until all he can see is the spiker and the setter- a silver haired boy with flushed cheeks and a proud expression. They way they celebrate even a simple strike hits Kageyama's chest in a way he doesn't realize until his team loses in the third round, the round right before they would've played that team.

The next time Kageyama sees that spiker is on TV at nationals.

It's a shame that he loses.

♕♕♕

College is less lonely than high school, something that surprises Kageyama. He's never been good at making friends, he's hardly good at talking to people nicely, and he's even worse at keeping them. Yet somehow he managed with a small group of friends thanks to volleyball. It's a lively group of people, one that gets yelled at by older adults for being too loud or rowdy.

Kageyama didn't expect to like any of them really, they were just on the same team as him. He really didn't expect to fall in love with one of them. But of course he has because something somewhere in his head hates him.

They've just finished practice and Kageyama isn't looking forward to returning to an empty apartment. He tries to hang around the group as long as he can, but people are starting to go their separate ways until it's just him, Kuroo, Kenma, and Hinata. He really should be going home-

"What's wrong, Bakageyama?" Hinata asks, hurrying up his pace to walk alongside Kageyama.

His smile makes Kageyama's heart clench and Kageyama glares. "Nothing, I've just had to look at your face a little too long."

Hinata's eyes widened and he frowns as if offended (he's not that mad, Kageyama can tell). "You wanna fight? Huh, huh?"

"No fighting, Shouyou." Kenma pipes up from behind them.

 _'Piss off,'_ Kageyama thinks back, bitterly surprised that Kenma managed to look up from his games for that long- And there's the guilt. He knows that it's not Kenma's fault, not really, and that it's wrong to hate the older boy. He can't help himself, though. "Listen to your boyfriend, Hinata. You wouldn't win against me," he teases with a smirk. 

"Bakageyama! I totally would! Right, Kuroo?" Hinata quickly looks back for support. 

"... _Right._ " Kuroo responds, drawing out the word.

"That wasn't supportive at all!" Hinata's face falls in betrayal. "Kenma?"

"Don't fight Kageyama." Kenma says, tucking his game away. "I'm not bandaging you up if you do."

"Ack!" Hinata clutches his chest.

Kenma hurries his step to catch up with them. He reaches out and links his arm with Hinata's, Kageyama feels his chest tighten. "Come on, Shouyou. We gotta get home soon."

"Aww." Hinata sighs, but nods. He looks back at Kageyama and Kuroo and uses his free arm to wave at them. "See you two tomorrow!"

Kageyama waves back, hoping that his dark expression is hidden in the low light. He shouldn't hate them, he knows it. He can't help it though. He hates being in love with Hinata and having to watch him be in love with someone else. His apartment is quieter than usual that night. 

♕♕♕

It takes several more lives for things to get straight. None of them end well, no happy ending that Kageyama is waiting for, is hoping for. Nothing seems to work out for them; a thing, a place, a time, a person is always in their way.

This life doesn't start off too great. They start off as rivals when deep down, hidden away, Kageyama wants more than anything is to at least be friends. They hate each other, this life takes it time with their relationship. It takes longer to bond, to get to know each other, but it's worth it.

When Hinata hits his tosses he feels home, he feel complete. He feels that when they're playing a match together, or when they eat lunch together. When Hinata starts to shyly slip his hand into Kageyama's, when they start spending nights at each others, and when they race each other everywhere. Something sparks alive in his chest when Hinata shouts at him on court, " _you really are incredible!"_ and it doesn't fade this time. This life starts to feel good and Kageyama actually has hope for it.

When they first kiss, Kageyama almost falls apart in worry.

Kisses are when their other lives fall away from each other, it has never gone well. But Hinata is still around after it, so Kageyama keeps kissing him. He does it not only because he just wants to, but because he's afraid that they'll be a day when he doesn't get to. They kiss through high school and college and the Olympics and am engagement and a marriage and until their life is over.

It's a good life and Kageyama hopes for another.


	9. Cosmos

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cosmos  
> Noun. the universe seen as a well-ordered whole

If every person is a universe, then Kageyama Tobio’s universe was rather dark and lonely. Each person he cared about would be a star or planet of some kind. Everything he loved would be in there somewhere, but there wasn’t much. His universe was rather small, save for one large planet that he found at the middle of it. He didn’t mind much, it made sense for volleyball to be at his center; there wasn’t much more he cared about.

Until Hinata came into his life.

Hinata’s universe was huge, even Kageyama could tell when they first met. He wasn’t sure what Hinata’s center was, his universe was already filled. There was too much, so much that the universe would have to expand to hold all of Hinata. It was a bright universe, though. A happy one made up of mostly people and feelings.

As Kageyama got to know Hinata, he got to know more of his universe. He got looks at different stars and planets and galaxies held within the boy. Each person was a different planet, probably the reason why the space was so filled. Feelings tended to be comets or stars depending on how strong. Volleyball was it’s own place, just like in Kageyama’s, but it wasn’t the center of everything. Just the center of most things. The center of the planets of his teammates, comets twisted and twirled around it, and several small black holes loomed by. It was beautiful, Kageyama realized after many hours of looking into it.

It took a long time for Kageyama to find himself in Hinata’s universe. He wasn’t even sure Hinata himself knew where Kageyama was, but it took lots of peering into the cosmos the defined Hinata Shouyou to find himself. Find how he looked in Hinata’s eyes, how Hinata felt about him.

They had just kissed when Kageyama found it.

His planet was darker than some other ones, but not as dark as the few black holes that loomed around. It was more of a dark blue than it was black, and it was huge. Kageyama could see that in the way Hinata looked at him as they pulled apart. That realization caused him to blush harder than he already was and he looked away from Hinata’s gaze, knowing he would stare if he didn’t.

With Hinata around, Kageyama hadn’t realized that his own universe was growing. Teammates became planets, filling up the small space until he had to make it slightly bigger to make room. Hinata’s parents got a moon around the small planet that was Hinata’s sister- it was bound to happen with how often he stayed over at Hinata’s house. Each team they played against became a galaxy in the cosmos filled with players and feelings of victory or defeat.

No other person was as big as Hinata. Hinata started off as a regular sized planet grouped with, at first, his other opponents. He then moved closer to volleyball and into a cluster of teammates. Kageyama didn’t realize that Hinata was the closest person to his center until it was too late and he was sucked in too deep into Hinata’s universe. Hinata just kept growing with each day that passed, each matched played, each toss thrown. At firs tit bothered Kageyama, but slowly he accepted it. Of course Hinata would get bigger in his universe, his own universe was too small to hold all of him.

Hinata had turned from a small cold planet into the brightest sun in Kageyama’s universe, shinning through all the cosmos.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't know honestly but here you go


	10. Trust

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Trust  
> Noun. firm belief in the integrity, ability, or character of a person or thing

When Hinata hits the ball his palm stings and he can feel the smack from his fingertips to his shoulder. He prefers to hit with his eyes open so he can watch the ball hit the ground, relishing in the feeling he gets knowing he scored. When he hits with his eyes closed, though, he’s still sure the ball will hit. Even if he doesn’t get to see it, deep down he knows. And when he looks over to see Kageyama’s expression- usually one of excitement or pride when this happens- a completely different feeling washes over him.

Hinata has never heard a ball hit the ground, but he knows it still will. He’s never heard Kageyama call his name, but he knows that he’ll still toss to him. He’s never heard the cheering of his teammates, but their faces and actions tell him all he needs to know when they win. Instead, Hinata watches.

There’s no other way, he has to watch. Watch their expression, their movements, their hands. Always watching so he knows what’s going on. Something he’s always liked about volleyball: he doesn’t have to hear to play.

It had been a world of silence since Hinata was born, but he was okay with that. He had friends and family and teammates who were willing to learn how to talk to him. It had taken a while for Karasuno to learn sign language (Yamaguchi was the only person on the team who knew any), but it was worth it. Not just for communicating with Hinata on a daily basis, but for actually playing volleyball. It was a huge advantage to be able to use complicated signs for moves with the other team having no idea what you’re saying.

Still, as Hinata flies he can’t hear.

So he has to trust the others. Trust his team to help and communicate with him, trust in his own movements on the court, and mostly trust in Kageyama to get the ball to him. As long as he can believe that Kageyama will be there, he can believe anything.

That trust moves from the court and into everyday life with Kageyama. He isn’t sure how it actually happens, but when they start to warm up to each other they start to trust each other more. Hinata trusts that Kageyama won’t stop using sign language, that Kageyama won’t turn his face away when talking, that he’ll toss to Hinata after school.

Neither know how they get to a place with their relationship is based on trust, it just happens. Maybe because Hinata does need someone that he can rely on like that and Kageyama needs someone who relies on him. Maybe because deep down they wanted it to become like this, for their relationship to turn into something this intimate before it consciously got intimate. They aren’t sure, but they don’t really care even if they constantly complain about the other.

“You’ll toss to me today, right?” Hinata asks in a shaky voice that he doesn’t like using. He can never tell if he’s saying anything right and hardly ever speaks.

“Of course I will.” Kageyama makes sure to talk slower so Hinata has an easier time reading his lips. This is repeated often, even though they both know how the conversation will go. Kageyama will always toss to Hinata, even if he pretends to find it annoying. The others know that the day Kageyama truly refuses is when they should start worrying. “

You won’t leave me, right?” Kageyama asks in hand motions that are much better than when he started, but could still use improvement. He doesn’t ask this often, but when he does his hands shake and his arms tense up. He refuses to look anywhere near Hinata’s face, instead choosing to stare at his hands because then he doesn’t feel so nervous.

“I wouldn’t ever leave you.” Hinata replies in unusually slow motions to make sure that Kageyama gets the message. Just in case any meaning got lost in translation, Hinata leans over and softly press a kiss against his cheek or forehead or lips or wherever he can really reach.

They have many conversations like these through high school up until the day where they stop having to have them, believing in the answer to the questions.


	11. Euphoria

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Euphoria  
> Noun. a feeling of great happiness or well-being

The feeling you get as the ball touches the ground stops the world around you. You stare past the net, past the opponents too late to stop the attack, and as your arms fall to your sides the ball falls with them. The sound reaches your ears over the chanting of the crowd, of the shoes slapping against wood, and of the cheers of your teammates behind you. Everything stops for a brief second. 

It's completely different than how it was a year ago. Those victories were empty, whether you knew it or not, and you stood on the court by yourself even as a team surrounded you. This victory is completely different, bit brings a whole new rush of adrenaline with it that's only enhanced by the fact that you don't stand alone. The team that surrounds you is _your_ team, not tools that you used to reach this moment. Instead of crowding around each other they're crowding around you and everyone else. It's hot and cramped and you aren't sure who's touching you anymore, but you don't care.

You're laughing and hugging back and your voice must be screaming like the other's.

It's perfect.

This year changed everything for you. How you thought about about people, how you acted around them, how you treated then, and how you worked with them. It was rough at first (especially with Hinata), but this moment only proves how you've linked up and it's all been worth it. Someone ruffles your hair, you think it was Suga but you aren't really sure.

"Karasuno! Karasuno! Karasuno!" The crowd chants, pulling you out of your trance. You can hear you team yelling, celebrating, more clearly now and it feels like everything's real. Like reality has snapped back into your face and another feeling rushes through your veins. 

A pair of small arms winds themselves around your waist and you look down to see the middle blocker that just spiked the winning point. His face is flushed with happiness, eyes wide and _glowing._ A laugh is bubbling up out of him and it sounds different from his other laughs, you haven't heard this laugh before and you want to hear it over and over again.

"We won!" Hinata shouts, his voice somehow making it over the chaos of noise.

You want to shout, laugh, hug him back, but all you can do is nod. You nod so hard that it feels like your head is going to pop off and you reach down to pull him closer.

Euphoria is what you decide this feeling is. It has to be, it's the only thing you can really feel when surrounded by a team like this after a win like that. It's the only thing you want to feel while you hug and orange haired boy to you side and join in the cheering.

In the midst of your happiness, in everyone's happiness that seems to be colliding together, you don't notice a hand reach up to tug on your shirt as soon as the crowd around you starts to pull away. You look down, surprised, just in time to see Hinata's face moving towards your before you feel a pair of chapped lips pressed against yours.

Hinata is kissing you. It takes your brain several seconds to process this. Before you can decided if you should start kissing back or pull away he's gone. His smile is wider than before, if possible, and he laughs (probably at your expression, but you don't realize that until later and even then you don't really care). "We won! He repeats, as if it explains everything, and flushes as he hears several teammates whistle at the two of you.

You find yourself letting out a small laugh and reaching out to hug him again. "Yeah," you say, not only to him but to yourself. "We won."


	12. Wander

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Wander  
> Verb. to move about without a definite destination or purpose

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It was suppose to be just fluff at first but then this happened

Not much about Kageyama was soft.

He had a coarse personality, a tense sense of humor, and a rough way of playing volleyball. His glare was sharp like glass and his mouth always in a firm frown. When he touched Hinata around anyone else his touches were wild pulling on hair and aggressive smacks against his shoulders or head. He wasn't a cuddly person at all, when he laid down his limbs all rested in jagged lines and he curled in on himself.

Sometimes when Hinata went to surprise-hug Kageyama- which happened more and more often as their relationship progressed, much to the amusement of their teammates- he expected it to hurt. He expected to run into a too hard stance or somehow cut himself on Kageyama's rocky surface. Though he never did, it was still a thought he kept in the back of his mind. One day it occurred to him that maybe he _couldn't_ hurt himself when hugging Kageyama because when Kageyama was around Hinata he was much softer. His glares weren't sharp anymore. His mouth's frown wouldn't be firm but flexible, sometimes shifting into a smile if Hinata was lucky. And when they slept over at each other's houses Kageyama's limbs weren't as jagged and instead were softer.

His touches changed too, but only when they were alone and hidden away from prying eyes.

With their teammates Kageyama still tugged on his hair, called him a dumbass (in the most loving way possible), and would smack him over the head from time to time when he missed a receive. When they left the presence of their teammates it was almost if Kageyama's hands changed, from the surface of their skin to how they moved. Hands weren't the only thing about Kageyama that changed, his attitude did as well. When alone Kageyama was more needy, always touching or kissing Hinata, and he was nicer without the pressure or hiding their relationship from those around them.

"K-Kageyama." Hinata laughed, squirming backwards. "Stop it, that tickles." Around him the blankets were warm and the pillows soft, the only light in the room came from a lamp on the opposite side.

"Sorry." Kageyama whispered, but didn't move his fingers away from the spot on Hinata's sides that they found under his shirt. He moved closer as Hinata moved back. His feather light touches on Hinata's sides still caused Hinata to giggle, though he probably should have been used to it. This wasn't the first night they spent in each other's bed. "You're warm," he continued as if it was an excuse.

Hinata laughed again, pulling the blankets up to his shoulders. "It's already pretty warm under here."

"Well, you got me there." Kageyama grinned, leaning down to press his face against the crook of Hinata's neck. His hands started to wander from Hinata's sides to his stomach.

"If you tickle me for real I'm going to kill- KAGEYAMA!" Hinata squealed as Kageyama's fingers duck into his skin. When Hinata moved back Kageyama moved forward. "N-no fair! Stop it!" He laughed, trying to push Kageyama's hands away.

"Sorry, that's not happening." Kageyama's giggles were drowned out by Hinata's howling laughter.

Finally, after several minutes of relentless tickles, Hinata managed to pry Kageyama's hands away. Kageyama pulled back to see Hinata's face flushed from laughing, tears stinging his eyes. "Y-you jerk." Hinata gasped out, but he still grinned. "I hate you."

Kageyama snickered, blue eyes bright in the dim light. "It's not _my_ fault you look so damn cute when you laugh."

"Bakageyama! Don't say such embarrassing things!" Hinata gently kicked him under the covers.

"It's true."

"I still hate you."

"No you don't." Kageyama grinned, completely sure of himself, his hands pressing flat against Hinata's stomach before sliding to his back. He pulled Hinata flush against his chest with a happy sigh.

Hinata rested his forehead against Kageyama's chest and closed his eyes. He listened to Kageyama's breathing and felt the rise and fall of his chest, his own breathing calming down. "What's gotten into you tonight, Kageyama?"

Kageyama hummed, as if deciding on how to answer. "Nothing, really," he said at last. "I just enjoy spending time with you for some strange reason. I must've taken a few too many of your serves to the back of the head."

Hinata sputtered and quickly pushed away to pout at Kageyama. "Hey! That's not ice." He twisted out of Kageyama's hold and smacked his chest. "You're so mean, Kageyama, I don't even know why I'm dating you." He huffed, turning over so his back was facing Kageyama.

He could hear the covers rustle before he felt a hand on his waist. "Maybe because I'm a good kisser?" Kageyama asked and Hinata could feel his breath ghost the back of his neck before a pair of slightly chapped lips pressed against it. It was a soft, almost playful kiss. He pulled away, only to start pressing kisses along his neck down to his shoulder.

"Haha..." Hinata laughed, glancing back at Kageyama. "It can't be that, you sucked at kissing in the beginning."

"I was still better than you." He hummed against Hinata's shoulder. Hinata shuttered when he felt a nip against his skin.

"Don't give me another hickey, okay?" Hinata reached over to slightly press his index finger against Kageyama's forehead. "And I was way better at kissing than you were! I still am!"

His voice was smug, but all smugness quickly disappeared when Kageyama managed to quickly climb over Hinata and pin him to the bed. He had an eyebrow raised and a small smile still on his face. What had gotten into Kageyama? He was much more needy that night than others.

Kageyama leaned down and pressed his forehead against Hinata's. "Are you sure?"

"Y-yeah." Hinata nodded, silently kicking himself for his stutter. Damn him, damn Kageyama. "100% sure."

"I don't think so." Kageyama shook his head and leaned back, still straddling Hinata. His hands found their way under Hinata's shirt once again and he softly dragged his fingers up and down Hinata's chest.

"No fair! Touching is cheating!" Hinata tried to push his hands away. "If you want to prove you're a better kisser then you can only use your lips!"

Kageyama frowned slightly, thinking it over, before nodding. "Alright. That's fair." He pulled his hands away, moving them to rest on the bed by Hinata's sides. "I'll still win either way." As he spoke he began leaning down.

"Oh please. No you wo-ooooon't. Hinata gasped as Kageyama went straight for his neck. He shut his eyes and leaned his head back, trying not to gasp with each kiss and nip Kageyama gave him. Hinata found himself reaching up to grip Kageyama's hair and pull him closer. He did his best to hold in a moan as Kageyama started sucking on a sensitive area. So much for 'not another hickey'. Apparently Kageyama wasn't satisfied with Hinata's small reactions, kissing and biting until Hinata's neck was red and he was full out moaning. 

Kageyama had just left a large red mark on Hinata's collar bone when he pulled back to examine his work. He smirked at how flustered Hinata was. Easily he moved off his boyfriend. "I think I won." He said simply before settling back into bed.

"... Shut up, Bakageyama." Hinata muttered, pressing his fingers against a particularly large bruise. He turned his head away to hide his smile.


	13. Summit

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Summit  
> Noun. the highest point or part; the top

"I love you." 

"Are you crazy?" Kageyama had asked as a too quick response with a disbelieving look on his face.

Hinata's expression tightened at the question, his lips pursing as if he tasted something sour. "No, no I'm not."

"Are you sick then?"

"Shut up, Kageyama! At least take me seriously when I'm confessing!" Hinata reached out to push Kageyama's shoulder. That was the Hinata he knew, not the nervous blushy one he saw as those strange words escaped his lips.

He looked away, unable to keep gazes locked with the intense look in Hinata's brown eyes. "... Are you sure you love me? It isn't, like, leftover feelings from earlier today?"

"What?" Hinata asked, his expression going blank in confusion. It was almost possible to see the way that Hinata's brain was processing the question and how to respond. "I- I don't. I mean. What the hell are you talking about?"

"I mean, like maybe it's the leftover feelings from winning?"

"Idiot, I've been in love with you since our second year. It sure as fuck isn't from winning earlier, but that was pretty nice too."

Kageyama was mortified to find himself blushing. He took a step back and reached up to rub the back of his neck. "You're sure?"

"As sure as I am that if you keep asking that I'm gonna hit you."

He sounded sure, but something in Kageyama still felt like it couldn't be true. "You've been in love with me for that long? Why tell me now?" Kageyama demanded, looking up.

It had been years since their second year of high school, so long that the thought seemed impossible. How many days had it been? Weeks, months? How it could it have been possible to keep in feelings like that for such a long time? It seemed impossible, at least for Hinata. Hinata, who easily showed and expressed his emotions, how he felt. Who was quick to laugh or cry or shout, sometimes too quick with how impulsive he was.

"I don't know." Hinata admitted, looking nervous again. He rubbed his arm and turned his gaze away. "Maybe you're a little right with it having to do with emotions from earlier. How could it not? We finally go there, together. I got to see the view from the summit with you. The final one on top of the world, so of course it's going to affect me. I don't know, but when I stood there after we won the game and took everything in, I realized that I couldn't keep this in any longer. I've loved you for a long time, but- but you don't love anything other than volleyball. How could I tell you? But as I stood there with you, on top of the world, I realized I _had_ to tell you. So... Here I am."

Kageyama had never seen Hinata look this scared or sound this sincere, his eyes widened and he may have felt his heart stop. Here Hinata was, pouring his heart out to Kageyama during the late hours of the night in Kageyama's hotel room, and Kageyama couldn't even start to think about forming words. The thought made Kageyama want to laugh and scream.

Suddenly Hinata smiled and Kageyama felt a weight fall off his chest. "It's okay, Kageyama. You don't have to answer me now or tomorrow or ever really. I'm just happy you know." He reached out and took Kageyama's hand, heat burning his skin. "We played a good game today," he said softly before leaning up and pressing a brief kiss to Kageyama's cheek.

All Kageyama could do was stare in shock as Hinata walked out of the room.


	14. Pattern

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Pattern  
> Noun. a usually repeating artistic or decorative design

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ew Hinata get a better taste in blankets

"It's ugly." 

"What?! Not it's not! I picked it out myself."

"That explains it."

"Shut up, bastard!"

Their bickering could practically be heard from down the hall it was so loud. A piece of fabric was the reason for such loud yelling. Of course it had to be something small. A blanket was held in two tight grips, ready to tug if needed. Hinata glared at his boyfriend, keeping two hands on _his_ blanket that _he_ bought. 

"Hinata," Kageyama spoke in his calmest voice possible. "Hand. Over. The. Blanket."

Another tug from both of them. "No!" Hinata shouted and shook his head, aware that he was acting like a child. Why should he care? So was Kageyama. "It's my blanket and you aren't going to throw it away!"

"I'm not going to throw it away!... I'm just going to shove it in a closet where no one can ever see it again."

Hinata's cheeks puffed up and he dug his heels into the carpet. His muscles tightened and his glare intensified. 1...2...3 and _yank!_ Hinata put all his force into one final pull, finally getting the blanket out of Kageyama's grasp. "Ha!" He shouted as his boyfriend tumbled to the floor, but he could deal with that later. He got his blanket back!

Before Kageyama could even think about getting up Hinata had darted through the mostly empty apartment and into their room. He jumped onto the newly built bed and wrapped himself up into a ball, his blanket hiding him. Tense seconds past as Hinata waited for-

"HINATA!" Kageyama roared and he could hear the other noisily getting up.

Ah, there it was.

Stifling a giggle, Hinata shoved his face into the bed. He could hear Kageyama's stomping into the room before he felt hands trying to yank his blanket off. "Nooooo!" Hinata cried out, rolling away. "It's mine!"

"Hinata, you ass, hand it over! I can't believe you pulled me onto the floor for a fucking blanket!" Kageyama growled and the bed dipped under his weight as he crawled on. "I'm going to throw this out the window now, because of you."

A small bit of light made it through the blanket and Hinata moved towards it. Out of the hole he peeked up at Kageyama, who's left cheek was red from hitting the floor. Instead of feeling sorry and apologizing like he probably should have he stuck his tongue out at his very angry boyfriend. He squealed and moved back as Kageyama made a grab for him.

"It's a volleyball blanket, it's beautiful." Hinata called out, voice slightly muffled. He had spotted it in a store while shopping for much needed furniture for their new apartment. The fact that the green of the volleyball pattern on the bright orange and pink backdrop mixed into an awful picture seemed to fly over Hinata's head.

"A volleyball blanket does sound like a good idea, but next time get one that's not so..." Kageyama paused, trying to find the gentle way of saying fucking terrible. Unfortunately there wasn't such a way, especially with Kageyama's vocabulary.

"It's beautiful and I'm keeping it forever."

The edge of the blanket was pulled up and Kageyama peered in at Hinata. He sighed, his angry expression falling at the sight of his smiling boyfriend. Damn that cute smile, it would be the end of him one of these days... "You really like it, huh?"

Hinata's smile grew as he recognized that Kageyama was just about to give in. He quickly nodded, reaching out to pull Kageyama in further. "Yeah! We can just keep it in here if you want, Kageyama."

"... Fine." Kageyama muttered out of the corner of his mouth, shuffling under the blanket to lay next to Hinata. The bright colors hurt his eyes, even in a darker light.

"Yay!" Hinata exclaimed, latching onto Kageyama. He buried his face into Kageyama's chest to hide a grin that was starting to hurt his face.

Kageyama sighed and closed his eyes, a smile smile starting to work it's way onto his face. "You know, the volleyball pattern is the only good thing about this blanket." He whispered, laughing when he received a quick hit to the arm.


	15. Invincible

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Invincible  
> Adjective. incapable of being conquered, defeated, or subdued

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy Birthday, Hinata.

When they start out things are different. They know their relationship doesn't work like it's suppose to. To outsiders it's bad. Their teammates don't worry so much, seeing how they transitioned from rivals to lovers. Hits over the head are affectionate and insults are pet names. Yelling at each other is the same thing as whispering sweet nothings. Fights remind them that they love each other. It's weird. They know it is. Why change it, though? They're both happy living like this, existing together like this. It works. 

Until it doesn't anymore.

On court everything is the same between them even if the setting and teammates are different. College is weird and playing volleyball there is even more so. They get used to it, adjust like they were told to. If they have the other then they're okay. At first. They're the same oddball duo in front of a crowd. Cheering when they get a good spike, using quicks they shouldn't be able to, and putting complete trust in each other.

It's in the middle of second year that everything goes to hell. Hinata doesn't realize how _tired_ he is until he's in the middle of a stupid fight at three in the morning. He can feel his body sag under the realization and Kageyama is still yelling, but suddenly he doesn't care. Nothing matters. He just wants to sleep. His feet move without realizing it and he's outside their apartment with a key in hand and his phone forgotten. His mind tells him to run, he thinks better when running, but he's so _damn tired_ that running feels impossible. Instead he trudges, walking until he can't see the building anymore but can still hear Kageyama yelling. He's never been more thankful for 24 hour shops.

When he returns the next morning he forgets how tired he is in a hug that Kageyama gives him. The apartment is in worse shape than when he left thanks to Kageyama panicking. That morning his ears are filled with _"where did you go?" "why didn't you take your phone?" "I was so worried." "are you okay?" "please don't leave again." "I love you."_

It's enough to satisfy him for now.

His energy leaves in small doses at first, he has to leave to feel like he can walk again. It only comes back when he returns to Kageyama's love that isn't hidden by his personality and brought out by panic. It starts to happen often. In the middle of fights, sometimes in the middle of night, sometimes he doesn't return home from class when he should. He doesn't admit how happy it makes him feel to see Kageyama so worried.

When he comes back he's given as many hugs as he wants and kisses. Kageyama is much more affectionate after worrying and Hinata can't stop clinging to it. It doesn't occur to him that he's doing it too much; he doesn't think about it as Kageyama holds his hand too tight when they leave the house, he doesn't remember it when Kageyama offers to walk Hinata home from class, it slips his mind when he's sure he saw Kageyama out of the corner of his eyes even though he's suppose to be in class.

All he wants is to be loved, so what if this is the way to get that?

♕♕♕

When Kageyama snaps it's cold.

Hinata manages to make it home on time for the first time in weeks, not feeling completely drained. He walks into their apartment with a skip in his step and a smile on his face. The air around him feels completely different than his usually gloomy aura until he closes the door behind him and a dark feeling crashes around him. He can feel his shoulders starting to slump over and his smile dull with each step his takes.

"Kageyama?" Hinata calls, managing to keep his voice up-beat. "You home yet?"

There's a clatter from the kitchen and Kageyama walks into sight. His hands are wet and there's a bit of spilled food n his shirt, causing Hinata to smile a bit wider. He can remember when they moved in together and realized that neither of them really knew how to cook properly. Kageyama was the one to volunteer to learn and spent many days cooking burnt meals and setting off their fire alarm.

"Hey!" Hinata chirps, dropping his bag on the floor before skipping over. "I haven't seen you all day." He opens his arms for a hug, expecting the frown to melt off Kageyama's face and for him to accept the hug like always.

That doesn't happen. Kageyama's blue eyes are like ice and his arms tense by his sides. Hinata's about to ask what's wrong when he speaks up, "you're home early." His voice is like a winter breeze, cold and bringing the warning of a cold snap.

"Am I?" Hinata questions with a tilt of his head. His expression is innocent as he tries to ignore that he is.

"... Yeah." Kageyama nods. He turns around and walks back into the kitchen. "You're usually not home until the early hours of the morning."

Hinata's arms drop to his sides and he stares at his boyfriend. They hadn't talked about this before and honestly Hinata had hoped they wouldn't. "Oh." His voice is soft as his brain scrambles to think of excuses of why he came home late. There's no good one. How could someone be home so late so often and have a good excuse? Maybe Hinata should have planed it out more, then he could have come to this pending argument more prepared. All he can do now, he realizes, is stall and hope that Kageyama forgets about it until he can think of a story. He quietly follows Kageyama and peeks over his shoulder at the food. "What are you making?"

"Where do you always run off to?" Kageyama brushes off the question, staring down at the pot of bubbling food.

Damn. "Hm? Oh! I just...uh..." Hinata stumbles over his thoughts. "I go here and there, you know. I guess I just lose track of time." He laughs weakly and rubs the back of his head. Great, he's getting tired again. How's going to get through this?

Kageyama's shoulders tense up further and he clenches his fists. "You sure?" His voice is tight.

"Yes." Hinata's voice is firm, trying to sound believable. "Why, Kageyama? Where do you-"

"Are you cheating on me?"

There's the cold snap.

"What?!" Hinata shouts in genuine surprise. "Cheating? Why in the world would you be thinking that?!"

Kageyama turns around and Hinata gulps, immediately regretting coming home on time today. "I don't know, maybe because you're _never_ here. You always have something to do, somewhere to be. What, do you think I haven't noticed you sneaking out at night too? Listen, if you want to be with someone else you should just say something." His voice is sharp, cutting Hinata with every word. Hinata realizes that it should hurt more to be cut like this, but it's a numb pain.

"Kageyama, Kageyama calm down!" Hinata reaches out and grabs Kageyama's shoulders. He ignores how Kageyama tries to flinch away. "Listen to me, I'm _not_ cheating on you! I'd never do that."

"Then where are you-"

"Just listen! I know I haven't been spending time with you, okay? I just... I've been stressed and tired, okay? With all these tests I'm getting assigned and these games we're playing, it's hard to handle. So I... I need some alone time. I need to clear my head and I lose track of time and I'm sorry!"

Kageyama's face softens slightly at this, but Hinata can still see the distrust in his eyes. "It's just stress?" He asks, raising an eyebrow.

Good, this a good story. Hinata just has to make sure it sells. "Yes," he breathes out, eyes wide. He leans up to press a kiss to Kageyama's soft lips. "I didn't realize how much this was upsetting you, I've been so out of it. I'm so sorry, Kageyama. I didn't mean to hurt you."

Slowly Kageyama nods, his head starting to accept the story. He wraps his arms around Hinata and pull him closer and Hinata can hear his sigh of relief. "That... That's good. It's okay, Hinata. We can deal with stress... I'd never forgive you if you cheated on me, but this is okay.

Hinata knows he should feel guilt, but he doesn't feel anything.

♕♕♕

"I don't think I love Kageyama anymore." Hinata admits one day in a mostly empty cafe.

He's talking into his phone as quietly as he can, glancing around to make sure no one can hear. On the other end is Yachi. A small part of him, the part that still feels things, runs a pang of guilt through him when he calls her. He shouldn't be interrupting her busy day with his damn relationship problems.

"What?!" He can hear Yachi scream on the other end and quickly pulls the phone away from his hear. He hopes, for her sake, that she isn't in a crowded or quiet area. He can still hear her, even with the phone away from his ear, "what do you mean?! I thought you and Kageyama were perfect for each other!"

"Yachi," Hinata says when she pauses for air. "Stop yelling. And, yeah, I thought that too. I just... I used to feel something when I'm around him. I don't anymore."

"Maybe- maybe you guys just lost that spark?" Yachi offers. "Like most relationships start to do in the later years."

"I don't think so. This feels different than that." Hinata shakes his head and bites his lip.

"Well, whatever it is, don't rush into anything. Okay? And if I were you I'd talk to him."

Hinata snorts with a roll of his eyes. "Talk to him? That'd just lead to another argument and that's the last thing I'm going to deal with."

"Soooo... what are you going to do?"

"I dunno. I don't think I can break up with him."

"You're going to lie to him?"

"No! Maybe? I-I'm going to try to make things work."

Yachi sighs and Hinata can feel her shake her head on the other line. "Alright, if you think that's what's best. Good luck, Hinata."

"Thanks, Yachi." Hinata says before hanging up. He tosses his phone onto the table and groans. Behind his closed eyes he can still see bright slights, even as he presses the palm of his hands against his eyelids. "Great. Fucking great. Of course that's the advice I get." He sits in his seat, the sound of others in the cafe starting to give him a headache. When his phone goes off his whole body flinches. He doesn't have to look down to know who's texting him. 

_To: Hinata Shouyou_ _From: Kageyama Tobio_

_Where are you?_

Hinata groans louder than before. "Fuck off," he mutters as he picks up his phone. If he doesn't answer right away then Kageyama will probably just freak out like always. 

_To: Kageyama Tobio  
From: Hinata Shouyou_

_I told you I'd be out studying today._

It may be a curt response, but Hinata really doesn't want to deal with his boyfriend. When had he started feeling like this? Like every text to and from Kageyama was an annoyance? This is really bad, he knows it. 

_To: Hinata Shouyou  
From: Kageyama Tobio_

_Are you sure? Whatever, just make sure you're home soon._

He is sure. 100% sure. He always makes sure to tell Kageyama where he's going to keep him from getting too paranoid. 

_To: Kageyama Tobio  
From: Hinata Shouyou_

_I'm on my way home right now, okay?_

It takes seconds for a reply to buzz back. 

_To: Hinata Shouyou  
From: Kageyama Tobio_

_Good_

Hinata doesn't think about how much that short response annoyed him as he picks up his bag and hurries out of the cafe. 

♕♕♕

It gets worse. So much worse and Hinata finds that he can't even begin to care. As the world falls apart around him he just lets it, watching the mess it makes. He only feels anything in rare bursts of affection Kageyama gives him. Other than that he only feels annoyance or numb. It's not nice, but every time he tries to leave something stops him.

He can't help but cling to Kageyama when everything seems fine. Any other time he finds himself hating his boyfriend. Hating how paranoid he is, how he's always checking up on where Hinata is, how angry he is. He hates how it's partially his fault, but he can't admit that.

He hates how they're bad for each other. They didn't used to be. They used to be the oddball duo on and off court who would go to nationals and stand on top of the world together. Not anymore. Even as their relationship changes at home it doesn't on court. On court Hinata still feels invincible, at home he feels dead.

Sometimes in the middle of the night he'll lay there in bed with Kageyama's arms wrapped around him a little too tight and wonder. He wonders what the Hinata and Kageyama of their high school years would think of them. Would they still fall in love? Or would they stay wary of each other, knowing how they ruin each other in the end?

He wonders how invincible they really can be if their relationship can't even be held together.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry


	16. Soulmate

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Soulmate  
> Noun. a person with whom one has a strong affinity, shared values, and tastes and often a romantic bond

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Last day so of course it's going to be sappy.

Kageyama stood there, in a steam filled bathroom, staring at a horribly mismatched pair of eyes.

They had been like this since he was born, just like everyone else. Two separate eye colors on the same pair of eyes, for him his right was blue and his left brown. His blue eye seemed to fit him better than the warm brown color, but he couldn't deny that he didn't find the brown eye somewhat pretty. It just didn't fit him. Too warm for his cold expressions.

That was to be expected, his mother told him the first time he asked. One of those eye colors _didn't_ belong to him, instead it belonged to the person who was his soulmate. His eyes would stay like that until the day he met whoever his soulmate was, then when he did his eyes would change to the same color and his soulmate's would do the same. That was the way that people found who they were meant to be with, she explained to him in a gentle voice. It was how she knew that she was suppose to be with his father, both her eyes were a pretty blue because of him.

As a child the idea of soulmates fascinated Kageyama, like it did most children. he found himself staring at adult's eyes, some were the same colors and others still mismatched. Almost all the kids in his class had mismatched eyes, save a rare few who had already met their soulmates. How lucky, everyone would whisper out of shut lips as they glanced out of the sides of their eyes.

Middle school was when Kageyama started to lose interest in his soulmate. Even though two older kids on his team were soulmates, he found that it didn't fascinate him as much as it did several years earlier. Why should he care about that stuff when instead he had volleyball? His soulmate wasn't here, his eyes told him that, so he might as well put all his focus onto something he did care about instead of something that was nothing more than a dream.

It payed off.

He got better quicker, sharpening his genius ability to keep winning match after match. He carried his team through games, something that at first he was proud of but then it became something he had to do to believe they would win. So what if his tosses were a little harder to hit? If the spikers really wanted to hit it then they'd try harder. While others searched for their soulmates, Kageyama spent his time doing useful things.

Volleyball was the only thing he started to care about. He didn't care about finding his other half, it was easy to ignore the whispers that carried through the air as he passed. Even his nickname 'King' was something he hardly cared about. It was just a stupid title created by jealous players that couldn't meet his standards.

So what?

Kageyama _didn't_ care. He repeated that to himself silently as a pair of mismatched eyes stared at him from a mirror. He could live with eyes like these as long as he had volleyball.

♕♕♕

"Whoooooa! That's the King?!" It was an annoyingly loud whisper from behind him. He could feel two pair of eyes staring at him, but all he concentrated on the feel of a volleyball against his hand. A satisfying smack rang out as he served a ball too hard.

Kageyama knew that it would be impossible to escape that nickname here, but he had still hoped. No such luck, apparently. Everyone knew him by that name and probably would for the rest of his time playing. Unfortunate.

"I think that's his nickname, yeah." A different voice replied, having the decency to be quieter. "I heard he's a setter."

"A setter?!" The first voice practically shouted. He could hear a pair of tennis shoes smack against the floor and the second voice quietly trying hush the first.

Kageyama flinched at the volume. "Oi, if you're going to talk about me then-" Kageyama started to say, turning around to face the two, but his words died on the tip of his tongue. He stared straight ahead at the person who stood in front of him, eyes widening. It felt like his throat was closing up and his world crashing around him.

Mismatched eyes. One a cold blue that didn't fit the person's sunny face and the other a more fitting warm brown. Even though Kageyama couldn't look away from his eyes he still managed to take in other features. Wild orange hair, a big bright smile, and he was rather short considering.

His mouth was moving a mile a minute, practically radiating excitement. Somehow Kageyama managed to catch the words he said over the sound of the world collapsing around him. "You're really a setter? Are you a good one? Do you think you could toss to me?! I'm pretty good at spikes, I just need someone to toss to me. Are you as good as Suga is-?" How did someone manage to say so much in a span of several seconds?

"Hinata!" The second voice said, grabbing the short ball of excitement's shoulder. "Calm down a little, okay? You need to wait for the rest of the team to get here, the captain at least."

"Awww." Hinata deflated slightly and looked up at a silver haired student with a friendly face. "Okay, Suga."

"... Hinata?" Kageyama found himself whisper, still staring. This was his soulmate? This wasn't a person, it was energy packed together into a person like shape.

The orange haired boy, Hinata, looked up with a slight frown and a questioning look in his eyes. "Hm? What?" He asked, properly looking at Kageyama. His face drained of the flushed excitement it had been filled with as he was hit with the realization, "our eyes match." Kageyama didn't really hear the words, instead read them off Hinata's lips.

Kageyama seemed to forget how to form words, all he could do was nod. Their eyes were exactly the same colors, the only difference between them was the shape. "So that means that we're-"

"Soulmates? I think." Hinata nodded. 

Suga's eyes widened as he looked between the two first years. "Wow... what're the chances?" He murmured to himself, shaking his head.

Kageyama glanced between Suga and Hinata, trying to digest the situation. He suddenly let out a sigh and shook his head. "No. No, no, no. Not today, no." He said before pushing past them both and practically running out of the gym. So much for first practice.

♕♕♕

His cheeks were red from heat and sweat mixed with water. Kageyama knew that he couldn't stand in his bathroom forever, willing his eyes to stay the same. He leaned over his sink, gripping the sides to keep steady. "This is so fucked..." He hissed out, glaring at his reflection. Why today? Why at all? What were the chances that it'd finally happen. He supposed that he should have been at least slightly thankful that his soulmate was obviously into volleyball. One of his fears had been that he'd be stuck with a girl who had no interest in sports, or at least expected Kageyama to put her before volleyball. That wasn't happening.

How long had he been standing here? He knew that the shower must've taken a while. He had stood under burning hot water, trying to get the strange feeling that lingered from meeting his soulmate off. It didn't work, so instead he decided he'd try to will his eyes not to change. He wouldn't accept this- he wouldn't accept that small ginger annoyance as the person he was stuck with forever.

"Tobio?" He heard his mom call with a soft knock on the door. "Are you alright in there? Didn't you have practice today?"

Practice. Damn. He knew that skipping first day was going to bite him in the ass later, but it wasn't like he could fix it now. "... I'm fine, mom. I just feel...sick."

So sick. He had to be, or at least his head had to be. Maybe his heart. His heart had to be ill to find someone to fall in love with.

In the morning Kageyama woke up with a pounding headache. He pulled the blankets over his head, debating if he should go to school or still play the sick card. Moments passed and he shoved his blankets off. He wouldn't be able to pull off sick, now with his temperature and it wasn't worth all the medicine. Plus he really had to show up for practice one day. Slowly he climbed out of bed, his limbs feeling like they weighed a thousand pounds. This was awful. His chest hurt, but it felt lighter than it did before. How annoying.

The bathroom lights were bright and Kageyama silently prayed as he turned towards the mirror. _'Please, please, please no. Please let me be wrong.'_ He desperately thought and opened his eyes. "MothER FUCK!" His voice was shriller than he'd like to admit and he stumbled back until he fell into the shower. His hands stung against the cold floor and his head throbbed. "No, no, no..." He whispered, shaking his head violently. This couldn't be happening, not to him. Volleyball was the only thing he needed, the only thing he wanted his life to be about. Someone else butting in would just be wrong, but here it was. It was finally happening and it was _awful._ _'I'm fucked,'_ he realized, filling with dread.

Kageyama didn't react when his worried mother burst into the bathroom. "Tobio, what-?!" She started to frantically shout, but went dead quiet when her eyes saw her son's. "T-Tobio. You're eyes." She whispered, almost in wonder. "They're blue."

"... I know."

♕♕♕

Practice was awful, as expected. He didn't get scolded like he thought he would, the captain seemed to understand what had happened thanks to Suga. Kageyama still apologized and promised he wouldn't skip again. The team wasn't the biggest, but the people on it seemed nice enough. Kageyama hoped that he could work with them, putting his King nickname behind him. Lucky for him, he only saw Hinata during practice and didn't have to speak to him. He had lost all his words when he saw that Hinata's eyes reflected the same brown that Kageyama spent fifteen years looking at. When Kageyama started to get close to Hinata the smaller would run away as quick as possible.

So he wasn't the only one unhappy about this.

It went on like that for a week. A week of trying to ignore Hinata Shouyou. A week of his parents asking nonstop questions about this mystery soulmate. A week of Kageyama trying to turn one eye back to brown. Basically it was as bad as he imagined it would be. At least it didn't effect his volleyball skills. Too much.

"Hey! Kageyama!" Suga shouted during morning practice. Kageyama turned to see him dragging a struggling Hinata with him. "Do you think you could do me a favor?" He asked, stopping in front of the setter. "I need to work with Tanaka a bit so could you toss some to Hinata?"

Kageyama looked down at Hinata, meeting his eyes for the first time in days. (And, no, it didn't make his heart stutter.) "You can spike?"

Imminently Hinata perked up. "Y-yeah! I can! I still need to improve but I can!"

"... You're so... _short._ How are you going to reach the ball?"

Hinata's eyes widened and Kageyama could see something light up in them. "I may be short, but I can jump! Just toss to me, I'll show you."

It wasn't good at first. They were completely out of sync and Hinata was too new to everything. He had never been on a team or played a proper match before, something that frustrated Kageyama to no end when he found out. Still, they kept trying. Kageyama wasn't sure why though. Why keep hitting tosses that this shortie just missed? Sure, he had impressive jumping power, but that was _it._

When they finally synced up and Hinata's hand smacked against the ball into a spike Kageyama felt something change. Something in his chest clicked as he watched Hinata soar in the air with the widest smile on his face. He suddenly realized why he kept tossing, why he wouldn't give up. Suddenly he was fine having two blue eyes and Hinata having two brown eyes. 

♕♕♕

"I don't know if I can fall in love with you." Kageyama admitted one warm evening. His face was flushed and he was clutching a meatbun in his hand that he won.

"I know." Hinata nodded before taking a bite out of his crumpled, loser meatbun.

Surprised, Kageyama looked down at Hinata. "You know? And you're okay with that."

"Of course I know." Hinata snorted and glances up at Kageyama. For a split moment Kageyama thought he saw something sincere in those eyes, maybe something that could lead them past this rocky friendship. Instead Hinata's grin widens. "I already knew your robot heart couldn't feel love."

"Dumbass Hinata!" Kageyama cried and reached to grab Hinata's hair. When had he gotten so good at dodging? "Fuck off, I was trying to have a moment."

"You shouldn't try to do that, Bakageyama. That's weird." Hinata stuck his tongue out. "Besides, I don't care if you love me. As long as you keep tossing to me I'm fine with anything." He shrugged before twirling in a circle. "Love is overrated sometimes. Do soulmates have to fall in love?" He asked, and Kageyama was struck by how a stupid and wise question it was.

"Don't they?" Kageyama replied raising an eyebrow.

"I'm fine if we don't. You're too annoying to fall in love with anyway." Hinata said, just before dodging another one of Kageyama's attacks. He started running, his loud laughter filling the quiet air. 

As Kageyama chased after him in the dimming light, a small part of him started to think that maybe it wouldn't be too hard to fall in love with Hinata. Who even knew what love was anyway? Maybe, for once, Hinata was right. Maybe soulmates don't have to fall in love, maybe these two just had to play together. "Dumbass, wait up!" Kageyama shouted at the top of his lungs, but his lips quirked up into a smile.


End file.
